Sunday, April 29, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Anyway I have noticed quite a few people who complain over the weirdest things. Little dumb things. Don't get me wrong I will complain my guts out to JW and my close friends. Everyone needs to vent stuff. I also came to a point where the whole "I'm fine" response just felt dumb. If asked how I am and I feel like crap I am going to say so. I regularly hid my health and feelings from others and ended up being a doormat. So not going there. Don't ask if you don't want the honest answer.
Back to complaints. Something life has taught me is that the little stuff is worthless to be annoyed about. He didn't make the bed? Not the end of the world. She left trash on the counter? Meh. Just give a reminder and let it go. No need to feel full of anger. Dude cut you off on the drive to work? Already happened and we can't change it so unless you got into an accident all it did was cause some break pushing. Not more than a few seconds of time lost. Let it go. We waste so much time wrapped up in little junk that we miss the beauty of the world. Yeah my little girl has some negative stuff we need to work on. Family bought a house (huzzah!) so we will have time to do that. I treasure her curiosity and her kisses. Her imagination is endless (wonder where she got that?) and she loves ponies like they are the dawn of a new day. She is brilliant and amazing. So I dwell on that. Bug is a tween. Boys and clothes and music are entering her radar. We have some hormonal angst but the girl is sweet-natured and loving. She puts up with the little one's hero worship better than I could have dreamed and helps me even when she is annoyed. That is what I concentrate on. This illness is scary and endless and limiting. I can complain about that but I also focus on my blessings. Why let the dumb little stuff stress me out when I have bigger fish to fry?
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
This potato is so overcooked.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Is it really a bridge burnt if the person you have cut out of your life was hurtful and untrustworthy? I feel more loss about certain four legged creatures that are in this person's posession then I do about her. I know now that I will never see them again and that stings a little. Not that I would have seen them before this, but the possibility was still there.
She was someone who continuiously stabbed my best friend in the back and just when the wounds started to heal, she would twist the knife......just so. I kept the contact, first because I had to. Then because she was benificial to a cause I love. But this latest twist of the knife was too much. Now it's just being vindictive.
So I go to bed wondering......what next? When will she turn on me? (because she will) What does she have up her sleeve? Who will she go after next? I don't think she has any way to do me harm, we run in different circles. But I didn't think she could do what she did to my friend either.
This latest attack could have financially ruined my friend. It was a situation that was being resolved, she just wanted to see if she could get one last fly in the ointment. It didn't work, she was a minor inconvience at best. But I wonder, why did she think we could be friends when she is hurting this person I have come to love as a sister? Did she think she could get information from me? What exactly did she expect would happen? Did she really think I didn't know?
I guess I am just a little confused by the two faces I have seen from her. She acts very friendly and supportive when she speaks to me. But she simply cannot let my friend live in peace. She constantly has to keep her on edge wondering when the other shoe will drop.
The only way this could end is the way it did. I have had enough. I am not going to sit by and pretend I don't know what a lying, conniving, manipulating, back stabbing cow she really is.
I have too much on my mind, I think it's time for a little lead therapy.