Maggy here. I was Stumbling again and saw this on Manbottle Library. I had a chuckle so I thought I'd throw it up on here.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
Showing posts with label livestock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label livestock. Show all posts
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Here chicky, chicky...
If you couldn't tell (or didn't read) the quote of the day yesterday, I finally got baby chicks. A friend of mine (who shall be hence forth known as the Logger, because well, that's what he does) has a good chuck of land not far from me with an orchard, space for a garden and a chicken coop.
We'd been discussing getting chickens for awhile, but hadn't made any firm plans. Yesterday I had planned a trip to see Lila, but it got canceled for unforeseen reasons and the Logger showed up shortly afterwards for donuts for the Boy. His friend (The Crabber, because again that's what he does) has been working to fix up the chicken coop, and the Boy and I went along with them to town to get some supplies. We stopped at the feed store to look around, and they had just gotten a couple batches of chicks. Before we knew it, we somehow were walking out of the feed store with 15 chicks and all the various supplies.
We got 8 white egg layers, and 7 brown egg layers. 8 are white, 6 are yellowish and one is black (so the boy can easily identify his). I'm not sure which breed they are because we forget to ask, so if you know, please let me know. Their names are Chicken (the Boys), LouAnne, Turtle, Drumstick, Noodle, Poopbutt, Scramble, McNugget, Omelet, Benedict, Poachy, Shelly, Huevo, Yoko and Dark Meat.
The chicks are staying in my garage for a bit until the weather gets warmer and we've finished the coop. It's actually sort of sweet to go in the garage and hear "peep peep peep-peep-peep". They have all survived so far (have I mentioned I'm pretty adept at killing things completely on accident?) but I figure since none of us know much about chickens it'll be a little trial and error least for a while.
Keep your fingers cross, and I'll pray to the Chicken Gods.
We'd been discussing getting chickens for awhile, but hadn't made any firm plans. Yesterday I had planned a trip to see Lila, but it got canceled for unforeseen reasons and the Logger showed up shortly afterwards for donuts for the Boy. His friend (The Crabber, because again that's what he does) has been working to fix up the chicken coop, and the Boy and I went along with them to town to get some supplies. We stopped at the feed store to look around, and they had just gotten a couple batches of chicks. Before we knew it, we somehow were walking out of the feed store with 15 chicks and all the various supplies.
We got 8 white egg layers, and 7 brown egg layers. 8 are white, 6 are yellowish and one is black (so the boy can easily identify his). I'm not sure which breed they are because we forget to ask, so if you know, please let me know. Their names are Chicken (the Boys), LouAnne, Turtle, Drumstick, Noodle, Poopbutt, Scramble, McNugget, Omelet, Benedict, Poachy, Shelly, Huevo, Yoko and Dark Meat.
The chicks are staying in my garage for a bit until the weather gets warmer and we've finished the coop. It's actually sort of sweet to go in the garage and hear "peep peep peep-peep-peep". They have all survived so far (have I mentioned I'm pretty adept at killing things completely on accident?) but I figure since none of us know much about chickens it'll be a little trial and error least for a while.
Keep your fingers cross, and I'll pray to the Chicken Gods.
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