Monday, September 14, 2009


I have had the chance lately to reflect on grief. Everyone feels grief at one time or another. It can be from the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, the last day of a job, or even because something you loved broke. we can be 10 or 110 and still have moments of grief. One thing I have realized is that no one feels grief the same way. Sure others can feel sympathy for your loss but NO ONE will feel exactly the way you do. I think the worst thing to say to a grieving friend is "I know how you feel." You may have shared a similar experience but you do not know how that person feels about their loss. My biggest moment of grief came not at the death of a friend or grandparent close to my heart. It came at a miscarriage. I had had one before many years ago but this one hurt more. This pregnancy we were trying for. I was almost desperate in my need for us to have a second child. It took years to get pregnant. When I did and then lost it I thought I would not be able to survive. That baby had a name, a face in my head, a life of possibilities. It reminded me that my grief was not less or more than anyone else though. It was just mine. Respect those you love who grieve by letting them.

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