For my next 30 years....

Today is my birthday. The big 30. I have had some teasing, some even apologizing as I hit this number. Like 30 is a bad thing. Honestly as I look back over my life I am so very happy to be having this day and the life I have had up to this point. For a long time I was 100% convinced I would die young. My FMS symptoms started in my teens and with so many saying that it was in my head or that I was crazy I was truly convinced that I either was going crazy or something was so wrong but no one could see it because I was meant to die. So I never really expected to hit this birthday. I have had my share of heartache as well. Loosing my babies was probably the worst emotionally followed by the loss of my grandparents and my love's battle with his own issues. Those things though helped shape the beauty that is my life. They helped form the bounty that is my marriage. Many think I make up our relationship but today when I opened my birthday card J.W. had written, "It feels like yesterday you were 17 and I had just fallen in love with you. I know many years have passed but I promise to make each day feel like it was only yesterday." Yeah that is my guy. All day Maggy has been texting me "Happy Birthday" over and over so I know how excited she is that it is my birthday. My email has been beeping like crazy with messages and my facebook even has some sweet words. It is humbling and amazing to feel so much love from so many. I see all of that love and can't help but be excited to turn 30 and eager for the future. I don't know what it holds. I know there will be heartbreak, there always is in life. I also know that there will be joy and love and passion. Thank you guys for being a part of that even if I have been a bit absent lately!