Sunday, October 27, 2013

I know I'm in my own way but I feel stuck.

I've been looking for inspiration in many places these days. Trying to get back to writing. Sometimes just combing through the #writingprompt tag on twitter works to move me. Today the one that jumped was "Write about what is getting in your way."

Honestly I am in my own way. In my writing career, in my life in gerneral. I just have no idea what to do about it. Blaming my dad and the regular self esteem slaps or my fibro is easy and even truth in a way but honestly it comes down to fear. Fear of failing at writing, at being a wife and mom. Fear of the unknown. Fear of pushing my body into another setback. Fear of letting those I love down even more. Fear of my dreams being permanently taken.

It sucks to realize I am held by fear.


  1. Well, I understand being afraid. I don't know you well enough to offer a lot of suggestions. Maybe you need a break from the internet? I wish I could tell you everything will be okay. I have many of the same fears.
    *hugs* and God bless. I hope you find serenity. ♥

  2. Fake it until you make it! Are you afraid of finishing whatever you are writing, or are you afraid of no one wanting to read what you write? The only way to conquer fear is to push through it.

    I'm not a fan of heights. My DH knows this, and while we were on vacation, we were taking a walk through a state park, where they had a narrow, suspension bridge, named, "The Shaking Bridge," or some such. It goes out across a river, and once you cross it, there's no easy way back, except to go back across the bridge. My DH insisted we cross it, and wouldn't allow me to walk out halfway, turn around, and return, but rather, insisted that we cross the entire bridge and then return. I wasn't happy with him, but I did it, and it wasn't so horrible.

    I'm happy I pushed through the fear. It doesn't mean I'm ready to go out into the middle of that bridge and jump up and down, but it means that I can cross it with less trepidation next time. Push through your fears--you can do it!

    There are no failures, just new opportunities and new ways of looking at things.

  3. Linda sadly the net is mt social world. I don't go out much due to feeling so awful.

    Wendy I had an agent. He basically gave me a contract then gave up on me. It felt like "You're a good writer but not good enough for me to make an effort." I know honestly that it is more a reflection of him and not me. I know I have skill. Writing is a natural ability for me. I just freeze now at crunch time. Now the dream is alive. But if I put it out again and fail again maybe I'm not as good as I thought. What if my reading team just loves me too much to tell me it sucks?

    1. It is the agent's fault, and I wouldn't take that as anything but his missed opportunity. Find another agent, or just write because you love it, and self-publish.

      I blog and write news/feature articles, so if you want a non-biased reader, email me. :)

  4. You may be the best of the best writers but just because you haven't landed the right contract with the right agent doesn't mean you have failed. Don't let this fear bleed over into the GOOD, SUCCESSFUL aspects of your life. You are a good wife and good mom. You are also a talented blog writer! You inspire me and while I'm not an agent nor do I write contracts, if that were my job, you'd be on my team. Your body may not be cooperating but your mind and smile can! I'm sure the rest of your readers would agree, even if they don't comment.


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