Friday, April 16, 2010

10 year reunion.

Recently a friend from high school has been posting about our 10 year reunion which is in June. My husband asked me if I wanted to go and I had to think about it for a second. My first thought was no because when you envision your reunion you envision being able to share accomplishments. To show the friends who stood by you that they were right and the people who doubted you that you did better than they expected. I haven't done anything special, no world changing, no college. Then I thought some more. And realized that was crap. That was me allowing my low self-esteem to rule my thinking and allowing those who doubted I would do anything with my life to win. I have done amazing things. I married the man I adore when I was 18 and despite it all, including some 'friends' expectations, we are happier than ever. I gave birth to our first child when I was 19. Bug is 8 now and amazes me every day. She can be very grown up and helpful one minute and the next she is on her trampoline, soaking wet, and laughing like a loon. She loves to cuddle still. She has a ton of fun playing games with me. She thinks Russell on survivor is a jerk and that JT is dumb. She tells me how the girls on 16 and pregnant really should have waited until marriage. She has a giving soul and a heart to match. I helped to do that. I've taught myself HTML by the time I was 22 and have quite a few websites under my belt and being visited regularly. I have completed 2 books of at least 60,000 words each before my 25th birthday. At 26 I gave birth to my second child. Squeak is curiosity personified. She has to look at everything, to touch it, hear it, and even, to my dismay, taste it. She can climb like a monkey and nothing soothes her more than a Mommy hug. She loves to cuddle her Daddy and give her big sister kisses. She refuses to use a spoon because then she couldn't smear her food all over. She knows who she likes and who she doesn't and has no qualms letting the world know. She loves to be outside. She thinks sharing candy with me is super fun and refuses to sleep through the night. I helped create her too. I have a 9 year marriage under my belt. We have a home and a life and are secure in each other and our marriage. My girls are happy. I have friends who love me, who share my worries and make me laugh when I need to. I have family that never fails to surprise me. So in actuality I have accomplished and accumulated much in these 10 years post graduation. I have conquered and enjoyed life even in the rough spots. I have absolutely no regrets because every decision, good or bad, every person, either helpful or hindrance, has led me to this moment. This glorious, serene, beautiful, whirl that is my life. So eat that all you doubters, and friends.... thank you for always knowing that the girl I hid would one day make me into the wife and mother I have become!

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