Thursday, April 1, 2010
NO child is disposable.
In the news every day we here of a missing child, or a dead child, or an abandoned child. Our society is flooded with foster kids. It is common place for a grandparent, an uncle, a friend, or even a co-worker to be raising a child not their own. My question is when did children become so disposable? Oh, your child was born with a handicap? Pass him off to someone else. Your teenager 'to much to handle'? Foster care will take her. It makes my blood boil. When you CHOOSE to raise a child you make that child a promise by that very act. You promise unconditional love. You promise to be a support and a comfort NO MATTER WHAT. I don't care if money is tight because of your child's needs. I don't care if she needs more medical assistance than you like. I don't care if he is skipping school and fighting. I DON'T CARE!! Suck it up and take care of your child. Children are rarely easy. They have ups and downs, they have needs and wants and dreams that we as parents are obligated to fill because we promised. I know that there are problems and hardships in raising a child. I know that as individuals one child's struggle can be much harder than another. That's humanity people. Fight for your children, not with them. Give reasonable boundaries. Stop what you are doing for one moment and hold your child close no matter how old they are. Tell them you love them and show them. Make each moment be a chance to let them know that no matter what they can count on you.
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This is sad, true, but I fear you are making an unwarranted assumption. "When you CHOOSE to raise a child".
ReplyDeleteWhen folks have a baby, there is often so much approval from friends and family, that no one could actually make a choice. Or there is disapproval, depending on circumstances, and then there is little investment in the child's welfare or future.
I thank the Goddess you have enough raising and a good enough childhood to recognize this tragedy. Unfortunately, there are many people that never learned about consequences, never chose to live as a family, never chose their mate - it "just happened". Now they have no way to learn the background to handle their kid, to undo the parenting mistakes that turned the undisciplined teen loose on society.
Unsavory as it is, some (very) few of those going into foster care will see some better role models and examples of home life, than their parents ever could show them.
You cannot have an epidemic of drugs and teen pregnancy, and pretend that society or the law or the nation values the family.
So, with the do-gooders killing abortion clinic workers, with "right to life" propagandists in full sway, and with the state, nation, and liberal schools interfering with families trying to teach *actual* family values, it is just wrong, to assume that every baby is wanted.
I also feel that "take care of your child" presupposes that most adults in America, let alone young parents, actually understand discipline, affection, and training in the home. Some do, some know lots about disciplinary action - beatings and punishment - and nothing anywhere close to "discipline".
My local radio station started carrying "BACA Nation" - Bikers Against Child Abuse. You aren't the first, nor the last, to notice this problem.
Signed,
A former foster parent
I fully admit that my observation does not include the exceptions. I know that many enter parenthood without realizing what that entails and that some are forced into it. The funny thing is I didn't have that amazing childhood. I wasn't shown what parenting and marriage and life should be. This taught me what I would and would not deal with as pertaining to my own adult life. My husband was a throw away child. We knew we wanted more for us and our children. I think having gone through the things I did makes me less tolerant of those who do not do what they should for their kids. EVERY person has the ability to learn to do better no matter their circumstances. It is the belief that a person can't improve their situation that makes things stay the same.
ReplyDeleteAnd the sad thing is, our Court system could care less... I owned a Bail Bonds Agency for quite a few years, had a lady call me to Bond her out, she had left her newborn baby girl in a damn garbage can !!! Someone had found the child alive and saved it. I wanted to reach thru the glass and rip the womans head off of her shoulders, I walked away from that one, now get this, 6 months later, the damn Judge actually gave her child back to her !!!! She should have been given the hot pink cocktail !!!!
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