Bullying, an epidemic.

I am a huge reader of crime news and I watch Nancy Grace a lot more than I should. Part of it is really for research. I see a situation and I use it in a book. The biggest reason is just morbid curiosity. I read these stories and hope for better endings even when I know how bad they are. Our news is covered in violence. Violence for stupid reasons usually. The stories that hit me the hardest are the ones about violence against kids. Those of you who know me or who read my blogs know how passionate I am about children's rights and safety. All of you who read or listen or watch the news have heard the name Phoebe Prince. If not I'll fill you in. Phoebe was 15 years old and after repeated and horrible bullying she chose to take her own life in the stairwell outside of her apartment. Her suicide brought to light just how many kids took part in the systematic torture of this girl. Having been a very geeky and awkward teen I know how bad it can be. In junior high in Utah I can remember two girls in particular who loved to torment me. I was shoved down stairs. My house was egged. I had my locker torn apart and nasty things left in it. I had lovely notes about me scribbled in bathroom stalls. Even younger in Texas I was teased. I was the chunky girl who didn't shave her legs or wear a bra. (I was raised by a guy who was a bit behind on a girls needs.) I was teased relentlessly. Friends turned on me. I tried to cover by making myself more interesting. (Yes LYING) I still shudder at some of the things I would make up to try to not be that nerdy girl. Of course my "stories" always made things worse and when true tragedy was in my life no one believed me. It just seemed like another made up story. I lied about boys, I made up a mother who was missing from my life for all sorts of cool reasons, I created "cool" friends just to try to seem less stupid. Those early teen years flew until one day, like poor Phoebe, I tried to take my life. I didn't try hard that first time. I think I wanted someone to take me seriously. I wanted someone to see me. Really look at me and get me and love me despite the fact that at my core I was a book loving dreamer with the imagination to match wrapped in a plump body and without any girly knowledge. I tried a couple of times to kill myself, each time getting a little more daring then the last as things got worse and worse. Thankfully I met someone who did see me. He saw the stupidity and the beauty that was me and he loved me anyway. I wish Phoebe had found that someone. As a teen parents really don't count. We crave the love and closeness of a peer. We want that girlfriend we could talk to about anything and still be friends the next day or that guy who saw us and thought the sun rose and set with us. Phoebe did not find that and she took her life. Now the kids who bullied her are all up on charges and frankly I think that it is too little to late in so many ways. Yes the school responded to the acts that staff knew of with a firm hand. Good for them. BUT so many who are bullied tend to take it or try to fix it themselves. So many never tell and witnesses rarely say a word. Can you imagine if someone had said something; if students had reported the threats and degradation, if bystanders and made themselves heard on Phoebe's behalf? I wish more people would comment when they see someone being harassed and demeaned. The only way this epidemic will ever be dealt with is if we as communities stand up and refuse to take it. If you see someone being pushed around don't be afraid to call the police or whomever can fix it. Give these kids the voice they rarely have.