Yup. I think it is a disease. I think that negative thoughts are poison. They fill you up to the point that they poison everything in your life and before you know it all you have around you are negative things and people.
I have to admit that I let this take root with me to a certain point. I love my brother-in-law. I love his children. They have been hit with some rough hits and honestly they are allowed to hurt over it. The thing it they have so much negative thoughts and feelings that it has swallowed them up. I honestly don't blame them. I have seen their devastation first hand. My issue is that Hubby and I have absorbed that negative energy to a point and let it drag us down as well.
For those who know me well I am the positive one. Sunshine and rainbows. If I get depressed it never lasts for long because I am to positive to let it. Stress brings out even more positivity. I see the problem and I battle it. I look for the solution and kick it back until I win and my family is okay. I forgive much, I love with everything I am, I try to have a smile or a kind word for people.
Or at least I did. We have had my BIL and his teens here for over a year now. Recently I went out of town with the girls to see my mom and sister and two of my husband's sisters. While I was their a couple things came to my attention though no one said anything to me really. 1- I had picked up a few bad habits from the live ins that i wasn't thrilled about and hadn't noticed and 2- I was not nearly as positive as I knew I usually was.
Picking up habits is normal but honestly isn't something that thrilled me. So hubby and I made a commitment to get back on track. We vowed to stop cussing. This was a huge one for me to pick up. I was the anti-cuss chick. For me it was only in majorly angry situations that a cuss words would pass my lips, especially after Bug was old enough to talk. Gracie and Mags can attest to my creative anti-cussing, hehe. We have also made sure to really step in if the girls are being parented by the teens or BIL that is in a way contrary to what we want. We had been going with a "No harm, No foul." type rule. They were trying to be helpful, especially with Monkey, and if it wasn't completely against our values we weren't going to make a fuss. We have realized though that the teens really seems to not only encourage but teach pretty inappropriate things. I think Hubby thought it was funny at first, when she was too little to really get it. Now though she is getting it and it can be harmful, so we are putting our feet down.
We also made the commitment to be more positive and encourage that in the girls. To compliment them when they do good and encourage them. We say "I love you " a lot in our house. I think because Hubby and I didn't hear it a lot so we say it often, to each other and to the girls. It is so important to have that feeling flow in a house. I also have been trying to ignore the negativity of the others. I have pulled back from the teens. They do not want me to parent them or give input so I am not going to. All it does is add to the negativity in that they treat me pretty horribly unless they want something. I doubt they even realize it most of the time so to just erase that negative influence I am doing my own thing more again. Hubby had a shift change so is not around as much which means I do my thing with the girls and go off on my own in my room or office and just let them be.
I guess the moral of all of this rambling is that negativity can do a lot of damage but when you make an effort to combat it and let in the positivity that honestly surrounds you your life improves so much. I feel better even though I have been sick and sleeping horribly. My emotional health is peaceful and so much more calm. I feel that returned by my guy and the girls and take great joy in that. I think that keeping that spirit in our house is a huge thing because if TSHTF having a positive mindset could very much save us.