It is your response that matters.

I find people fall into a couple groups when it comes to attitude about life. Mine recently can get pretty frustrated as the teens help less and less the closer they get to moving and thier papa is a bundle of negativity. I don't like some of the behavior in my home. JW and I are a very mellow couple. We don't fight often and when we do it tends to be quick and then done. We have maybe 1 big huge gonna strangle you fight a year that will last about an hour. We stomp off to our corners, me in tears, and then realize we are both idiots and apologize. Even with the angst of JW fighting some demons during her young years Bug soaked the mellow like a sponge. She is a very chill kid. Happy to be with family, content to relax, sensitive like her mama. Not a yell do we get unless she is in a fit of prepubescent angst. Now Monkey on the other hand has had a different couple years. Teens occupy her space. They are opposite sex and forced to share a room by circumstance. So the fighting can be epic. The cussing can rival any construction site I have been on. So my little angel yells and hits and gets mean when she is mad at you over something. Drives me batty. So frustrated is a state I live in on some days.

Anyway I have noticed quite a few people who complain over the weirdest things. Little dumb things. Don't get me wrong I will complain my guts out to JW and my close friends. Everyone needs to vent stuff. I also came to a point where the whole "I'm fine" response just felt dumb. If asked how I am and I feel like crap I am going to say so.  I regularly hid my health and feelings from others and ended up being a doormat. So not going there. Don't ask if you don't want the honest answer.

Back to complaints. Something life has taught me is that the little stuff is worthless to be annoyed about. He didn't make the bed? Not the end of the world. She left trash on the counter? Meh. Just give a reminder and let it go. No need to feel full of anger. Dude cut you off on the drive to work? Already happened and we can't change it so unless you got into an accident all it did was cause some break pushing. Not more than a few seconds of time lost. Let it go. We waste so much time wrapped up in little junk that we miss the beauty of the world. Yeah my little girl has some negative stuff we need to work on. Family bought a house (huzzah!) so we will have time to do that. I treasure her curiosity and her kisses. Her imagination is endless (wonder where she got that?) and she loves ponies like they are the dawn of a new day. She is brilliant and amazing. So I dwell on that. Bug is a tween. Boys and clothes and music are entering her radar. We have some hormonal angst but the girl is sweet-natured and loving. She puts up with the little one's hero worship better than I could have dreamed and helps me even when she is annoyed. That is what I concentrate on. This illness is scary and endless and limiting. I can complain about that but I also focus on my blessings. Why let the dumb little stuff stress me out when I have bigger fish to fry?

Do you suffer from this disease?

Negativity.

Yup. I think it is a disease. I think that negative thoughts are poison. They fill you up to the point that they poison everything in your life and before you know it all you have around you are negative things and people.

I have to admit that I let this take root with me to a certain point. I love my brother-in-law. I love his children. They have been hit with some rough hits and honestly they are allowed to hurt over it. The thing it they have so much negative thoughts and feelings that it has swallowed them up. I honestly don't blame them. I have seen their devastation first hand. My issue is that Hubby and I have absorbed that negative energy to a point and let it drag us down as well.

For those who know me well I am the positive one. Sunshine and rainbows. If I get depressed it never lasts for long because I am to positive to let it. Stress brings out even more positivity. I see the problem and I battle it. I look for the solution and kick it back until I win and my family is okay. I forgive much, I love with everything I am, I try to have a smile or a kind word for people.

Or at least I did. We have had my BIL and his teens here for over a year now. Recently I went out of town with the girls to see my mom and sister and two of my husband's sisters. While I was their a couple things came to my attention though no one said anything to me really. 1- I had picked up a few bad habits from the live ins that i wasn't thrilled about and hadn't noticed and 2- I was not nearly as positive as I knew I usually was.

Picking up habits is normal but honestly isn't something that thrilled me. So hubby and I made a commitment to get back on track. We vowed to stop cussing. This was a huge one for me to pick up. I was the anti-cuss chick. For me it was only in majorly angry situations that a cuss words would pass my lips, especially after Bug was old enough to talk. Gracie and Mags can attest to my creative anti-cussing, hehe. We have also made sure to really step in if the girls are being parented by the teens or BIL that is in a way contrary to what we want. We had been going with a "No harm, No foul." type rule. They were trying to be helpful, especially with Monkey, and if it wasn't completely against our values we weren't going to make a fuss. We have realized though that the teens really seems to not only encourage but teach pretty inappropriate things. I think Hubby thought it was funny at first, when she was too little to really get it. Now though she is getting it and it can be harmful, so we are putting our feet down.

We also made the commitment to be more positive and encourage that in the girls. To compliment them when they do good and encourage them. We say "I love you "  a lot in our house. I think because Hubby and I didn't hear it a lot so we say it often, to each other and to the girls. It is so important to have that feeling flow in a house. I also have been trying to  ignore the negativity of the others. I have pulled back from the teens. They do not want me to parent them or give input so I am not going to. All it does is add to the negativity in that they treat me pretty horribly unless they want something. I doubt they even realize it most of the time so to just erase that negative influence I am doing my own thing more again. Hubby had a shift change so is not around as much which means I do my thing with the girls and go off on my own in my room or office and just let them be.

I guess the moral of all of this rambling is that negativity can do a lot of damage but when you make an effort to combat it and let in the positivity that honestly surrounds you your life improves so much. I feel better even though I have been sick and sleeping horribly. My emotional health is peaceful and so much more calm. I feel that returned by my guy and the girls and take great joy in that. I think that keeping that spirit in our house is a huge thing because if TSHTF having a positive mindset could very much save us.