Wednesday, April 18, 2012

It is your response that matters.

I find people fall into a couple groups when it comes to attitude about life. Mine recently can get pretty frustrated as the teens help less and less the closer they get to moving and thier papa is a bundle of negativity. I don't like some of the behavior in my home. JW and I are a very mellow couple. We don't fight often and when we do it tends to be quick and then done. We have maybe 1 big huge gonna strangle you fight a year that will last about an hour. We stomp off to our corners, me in tears, and then realize we are both idiots and apologize. Even with the angst of JW fighting some demons during her young years Bug soaked the mellow like a sponge. She is a very chill kid. Happy to be with family, content to relax, sensitive like her mama. Not a yell do we get unless she is in a fit of prepubescent angst. Now Monkey on the other hand has had a different couple years. Teens occupy her space. They are opposite sex and forced to share a room by circumstance. So the fighting can be epic. The cussing can rival any construction site I have been on. So my little angel yells and hits and gets mean when she is mad at you over something. Drives me batty. So frustrated is a state I live in on some days.

Anyway I have noticed quite a few people who complain over the weirdest things. Little dumb things. Don't get me wrong I will complain my guts out to JW and my close friends. Everyone needs to vent stuff. I also came to a point where the whole "I'm fine" response just felt dumb. If asked how I am and I feel like crap I am going to say so.  I regularly hid my health and feelings from others and ended up being a doormat. So not going there. Don't ask if you don't want the honest answer.

Back to complaints. Something life has taught me is that the little stuff is worthless to be annoyed about. He didn't make the bed? Not the end of the world. She left trash on the counter? Meh. Just give a reminder and let it go. No need to feel full of anger. Dude cut you off on the drive to work? Already happened and we can't change it so unless you got into an accident all it did was cause some break pushing. Not more than a few seconds of time lost. Let it go. We waste so much time wrapped up in little junk that we miss the beauty of the world. Yeah my little girl has some negative stuff we need to work on. Family bought a house (huzzah!) so we will have time to do that. I treasure her curiosity and her kisses. Her imagination is endless (wonder where she got that?) and she loves ponies like they are the dawn of a new day. She is brilliant and amazing. So I dwell on that. Bug is a tween. Boys and clothes and music are entering her radar. We have some hormonal angst but the girl is sweet-natured and loving. She puts up with the little one's hero worship better than I could have dreamed and helps me even when she is annoyed. That is what I concentrate on. This illness is scary and endless and limiting. I can complain about that but I also focus on my blessings. Why let the dumb little stuff stress me out when I have bigger fish to fry?


  1. I love this post. I just had a similar conversation with my husband. Who cares about the dumb's dumb:)

    I am sorry you are struggling with some health issues.

  2. See, you're as normal as the rest of us...good for you.

  3. Lila - you really nailed it with "why let the dumb little stuff stress me out when i have bigger fish to fry?" certainly do have bigger fish to fry, dear thank you very much for the reminder to me! and please... don't tell me you're fine if you are not - but i know that you won't.

    i don't know if you read the posts about jambaloney getting sucker punched last was an awful couple of days for me. i locked the gate to our driveway and unplugged the phone so that he could get some rest. and then i came and vented on our blog. the support i received was what got me through the whole ordeal.

    if you need to vent - do it. if you need to whine, moan or complain - do it. we will all be here to get you through it!

    but ya - why let the dumb stuff stress us out eh? i hope this all made sense...i feel like i want to say a whole lot more. i think you know what i mean.

    your friend,

  4. AGirl - Thanks. I figure if having some stupid disease is the price I pay for this amazing life then my scales are still tipped to the blessed side! :)

    Stephen - Normal? Heck yeah!! No one has ever called me that!

    Kymber- You rock sweetheart!! You and your lovely guy inspire me often. Thanks for letting me be me, weaknesses and all! :)


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