Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

I'm Christian unless you're an addict, or an Imigrant, or.....

So the title was inspired by a post by Dan Pierce called "I'm Christian unless you're gay." I loved it for it's truth.

I saw a similar issue on Sunday. A couple things happened of note. Philip Seymour Hoffman died of an overdose and the Superbowl was on in all its billion dollar glory.

It was also the anniversary of Chris Kyle's death.

Many on my feed felt that the later should have been all over the news. And I agree. Chris Kyle was a great guy. He was a returned soldier, a father, a husband. He was also more than that. He was a man determined to help others. A man with demons who refused to give in. And that deserves praise and remembrance.

Some took it farther. They bashed a dead actor for being an addict. They bashed the addiction as weakness, as cowardly. Memes were created that demeaned and denigrated.

Then the Superbowl aired. The usual million dollar commercials played. And Coke became the second major target of the day along with the immigrants singing a beautiful American song in their native languages.

I have never seen so much hate spewed in a single day on facebook and twitter. The crule and vile words honestly made me cry. Not for the targets but for us. Because the group spewing the most hate shocked me. We are the primarily Christian center. We are supposed to be the tolerant, the forgiving, the compassionate. We are the ones who carefully research our rebuttles to the anti rights groups. We are the ones horrified when a soldier is treated badly or a family with an autistic child is discriminated against.

Yet on Sunday I watched as addicts were shamed for being weak and stupid. I watched as immigrants trying to show pride were shown racism more expected 50 years ago.

An addict does not choose to be so. No one looks at a pill or syringe and says "That's what I want to do when I grow up." Addiction is a brutal indiscriminate attacker. It goes after anyone, at any time, in any circumstance. And once it has you it never lets you go. A smell, a sound, a taste, a place, a person, a date can trigger you. And then you crave.  If you have already hit your bottom and are fighting to be clean you hit that craving and move on, focusing on whatever helps so you don't drink or use or eat. If you are back in the blur though and you hit a trigger all you do is seek the empty places using brings. The places where you don't crave because you're there, where you don't feel because you're empty.

I know if I were at my bottom still trapped in the blur Sunday would have destroyed my hope. How is an addict to feel safe asking for help if we tell them they are just weak and stupid and deserve death? And what if the addict needing that help is your child, your sibling, your spouse, your parent ? What about the soldier who fought beside you?

Then we heaped on more hate. Telling those who did it right, who worked hard to be here, who are as American as we are, that their pride is worthless because they don't have as many generations born in this melting pot as we do. That sharing their pride in their birth language was dispicable. Yes I agree everyone should learn English. However we should allow an expression of pride in America be however it is chosen. If someone wants to do it in pig-latin and standing on their heads I say we celebrate. Celebrate that they came here honestly to seek an honest often safer and better life and genuinely are proud to be American.

Stop the hate. Stop the degradation. How do we expect to teach the intolerant anything better if we are intolerant? How are we to show our children Christ like values if we ourselves are not Christ like?

I for one refuse to be the Christian living contrary to Christ. I refuse to judge anyone based on their choices if they are living a life trying to be the best they can be. I also refuse to turn my back on those who might need help. To me that is the most exceptional way to honor my faith, my family, and our point of existence.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Not hard to stay sober.... is it?

I was checking out at the grocery store the other day when the man behind me said something I couldn't help but overhear. It took everything I had to restrain myself actually. I was with my girls and he was with his wife and child so just felt the kiddos didn't need to hear the boiling thoughts in my head.

He was looking at the tabloid headlines and saw one I had noticed that said "Lindsey Lohan fighting to stay sober" His comment was, "I just don't get it. It can't be that hard to stay sober. Just stop drinking the alcohol or doing the drugs. Done. Sober."

Seriously? I wish it were that easy. I've been the child of an addict, the addict, and am the wife of a recovering alcoholic. I have seen every side of that issue. I know how it feels to wake up and crave, to eat a certain meal and crave, to stress and crave, to hurt and crave. I walked my path due to my pain. I hurt and no one believed me so I turned to using to cope. I lied to people. I manipulated. I did a lot I am not proud of and all before I was 17.

I wish it were easy. I wish you just made the choice and then poof....done. But people don't become addicts because it is glamorous and fun. They do it because they need the escape for some reason. They don't want to face something. The using is what is easy. It's the fight to stay sober that takes desire, a day to day effort and choice. It takes a lot of support from loved ones and community.