Off topic

This post is not about politics, guns, prepping, or anything relevant to our usual topics. I just needed a place to put down my thoughts.

   I was recently diagnosed with adrenal fatigue. It has caused me to be hypoglycemic. It has also caused a hormone imbalance, low blood pressure (like low enough that I should go to the hospital almost weekly), low cholesterol.....oh yeah and I also got mono on top of all of that.
   Fun stuff, right? I forgot to mention fibromyalga also goes hand in hand with adrenal fatigue. Lila was right. She has been convinced I had fibro for years.
   My doctor is big on changing lifestyle rather than handing out meds. I like that. At least I thought I did until I was told I could no longer eat carbs or sugar. Honestly, I am just griping. I needed to cut way back on those things anyway. And I really WOULD rather fix this with diet. I have to be careful to balance any carbs or sugars with protein. If I don't my blood sugars skyrocket then drop low enough to make me lose consciousness. One good thing that has come of this is that my little Boston terrier is now a service dog in training. She had been cuing in on my lows long before I knew I was having them. I just thought I was sick. One morning she jumped up into bed with me and refused to let me up. I checked my sugars and was very low. She now alerts me when she smells the change in my blood sugar level and when I ask her to check.
   The hormone imbalance can be reversed by eating three eggs a week. I am not fond of eggs and this has been hard for me. I am learning to be creative!
   The low blood pressure can be raised by adding more salt to my diet. It is more of a long term fix though rather than a quick fix when I find myself in trouble. One way to raise blood pressure quickly is with caffeine. I don't drink coffee or black tea (yuck). Pepsi or most other caffeinated beverages are out because of the sugar content. I would just be fixing one problem and creating another one just as bad. Energy drinks can cause stroke and I am already high risk due to the blood pressure issue. So what's a light headed girl to do? I found some energy strips at our local GNC that are caffeine, ginseng, and Vitamin B. PERFECT! I keep those in my purse along with my blood pressure monitor and my blood glucose meter and my jerky. I have had to learn to carry a big purse.
   The thing that is honestly the worst is the fibro. I absolutely loathe feeling this way especially when there isn't a lot to do about it. Today is a bad day. Yesterday was worse. I have a lot on my plate and no one to help take up the slack. I can only work outside when it is cool. I can only work in the house until my body screams at me to stop. Stress shortens the time I can do anything. I have three little boys who create stress and toss it around the house like confetti. They fight, they destroy, and they make messes faster than I can clean them even on a good day.
   I feel stupid. I lose track of conversations even before they are through. I will argue a point with someone until they laugh and point out that they are saying the same thing I am. I am just too out of it to realize it. I almost wish I didn't know about the fibro. At first I was relieved to have a diagnoses of any kind. Now I have a name to get mad at. I KNOW what is causing me to feel this way and it pisses me off. Maybe it is just something to blame, but I sometimes find myself in a fury with an invisible foe. It's hard to fight an enemy you can't see or smell or touch. I can however feel it and it sucks.