It takes a village!

I am of the firm belief that raising children takes a village. I think children need to be surrounded by love. Mine, I think, are lucky. My husband and I are very much in love still. We are a solid unified unit. Some question that. I have had people tell me there is no possible way we can be that happy. We fight, sure. We have moments where we tick the other off or we hurt the other with a stupid word. I think his habit of sticking candy wrappers in a cup is psychotic. He hates that I don't rinse the tub after I use it or put a towel on the floor over the mat to step on. We deal. We have had some pretty bad moments where leaving crossed both our minds. I have always been sick so all that FMS entails but without the diagnosis made me not easy to deal with especially when I was a young moody mother and he has some demons of his own though almost 5 years of sobriety has helped a lot. We always had a few rules. Never go to bed mad. This resulted in some sleepless nights early in our marriage. Divorce is not an option. EVER. I took a couple trips to see family to give us both some room when things were really bad. All of that means that my kids have parents who love each other passionately and fight for each other and for them. It means we are a great unit.

That is beautiful and more than a lot of kids these days can boast but I think kids need more. Luckily mine have that. Right now my husband's oldest brother Bubba (yes we call him that!) lives with us along with his 16-yr-old daughter and 12-yr-old son. This has been a blessing to both sets of kids. It is really great for my niece and nephew to see a good marriage and to spend time with younger kids. My niece is amazing with our little one and our 9-year-old adores her as well. She hides behind a goth/emo facade but is actually a pretty mature and tender girl. Seeing a woman with morals making good choices is good for her. My nephew is diabetic. Being the back up to my BIL means that my nephew is better maintained and taken care of.

I take my responsibilities as an aunt very seriously. I think that it is good for them to know that they have some one to talk to. In October we will be at 22 nieces and nephews and I hope that all of them know that they have us to talk to if they need it.

We also nurture our children's relationships with their grandparents. I think we could probably do better with that but my anti-social tendencies can be a hamper there.

Another reason I think it is so important to nurture the wider relationships is because if SHTF the kids are the ones most at risk. They need to know who they can count on, where they are. They need a network of people to depend on.