Little Johnny Said..

Gracie sent me this, I laughed so hard I had to repost it.

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her
grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because
there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.

The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and
correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln". The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD. Susie answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King". The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before. Mary answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for
you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The teacher said, "That's right Nancy . You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD. Nancy answered first.

Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these b*tches would keep their mouths shut".

The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny said, "TIGER WOODS! CAN I GO NOW?"

How to kill a rosemary tree

Hubby started the South Beach diet ( more on that in a later post ) and a lot of the recipes call for fresh rosemary. I can't get fresh rosemary here so I have been using dried. I found this beautiful little rosemary tree in the store for $10 so I picked it up. I took it home and lovingly read the care instructions which said "Water when soil feels dry". I stuck my finger in the dirt and it felt dry, so I watered it well and set it on my counter to brighten my kitchen for the holidays. I went about my day and when I came into the kitchen a few hours later, my tree was gone! I looked and looked and couldn't find it. Now, I know it didn't grow legs and walk away so I rounded up the usual suspects and demanded to know what they did with my tree. I was met with blank stares and "I dunno, what tree?"

Argghhhhh! You know the only tree in the house!

"Ohhhh, that tree! It's over here behind us in front of the fire."

I grabbed my tree from the intense heat and placed it back on the counter. I noticed a few of the branches in the back were wilting where they had been too close to the fire. I thought it must be dried out so I watered it again. The next day the wilted branches were black and there were tons more wilted branches. I panicked and watered it again. A few days later, half the tree was black and the other half was wilted. Yikes! It must need more water!

I did some research online and found out that these plants like poor soil that drains well and very little water. I rushed out and bought a clay pot and transplanted my poor tree. It was seriously root bound and actually dripping wet. I was actually able to wring out the roots before I seperated them and transplanted it into the clay pot. I used some potting soil that was extremely dry and I am hoping I can save it. I still see a very very small ammount of green so hopefully it will pull through. I doubt it will ever look like it did before, it was 2 years old already. But if I can get it well enough to actually use some of it in my cooking from time to time, I will be happy.

And that my friends is how you kill a rosemary tree.

Happy Holidays

Hope everyones holidays are happy and safe! Talk to you all in a few days!

I thought it was funny

Women's birthing rights!

I am all about a woman's right to choose. When and how and if are human rights and a woman is a human being last time I checked. I saw this story on CNN and felt a bit surprised that still hospitals are refusing to do certain things for "safety". Yes a VBAC can up the chance of complications but if your doc is skilled and you want to at least try for one then they hospital should support that. I choose a c-section with Squeak because my birth experience with Bug still affects me and I was so glad I had the choice. Every woman should have a choice

Friday Funny

Fiction Awesomness - True Detectives by Jonathan Kellerman

I am all about the mainstream fiction. Now don't get me wrong I can dig literature if the story is right. I can bury myself in stories with meaning and a tale to tell. However I am all about reading for fun. A good novel can take you on an adventure. You can become the hot witch, the private eye, the murder cop, the deep in love English lady, the down on your luck mom. You can become anything that your imagination allows and I love that. It is a huge part of why I write.

Anyway one of my favorite authors is Jonathan Kellerman. He writes crime books of the fictional variety. I adore him!!!! So this week I picked up one of his books that doesn't focus on his usual main crime fighter Alex Delaware but instead dealt with two brothers. One a homicide cop and the other a private eye. Both very diffrent. They share a mother but they have different fathers. Each was a cop. One died in the line while the other drank himself to death. This made for some interesting dynamic between the brothers. They each were working a case of a missing college girl that lead to a Hollywood double murder. The story had everything I love about Kellerman. The psychology side of crime as well as the mystery and suspense he is so good at. The story was quick. I read it in 2 days. I am a very fast reader though, lol. I wholeheartedly recommend this book!!!

The awesomeness of a bread machine!!

So about a week before Thanksgiving we were flipping through channels looking for one of our crime dramas when QVC flashed up. They were selling my Breadman bread maker that I have been dreaming about. Hubby said to buy it so before he could change his mind I did just that. I am so happy I did. I have made a ton of white bread as that's the usual favorite. Also made some cranberry almond bread that was devine. I used it to make pizza dough that was sinfully awesome. I think that it has to be one of the best kitchen tools ever. Prep time is about 5 minutes and about 3 hours later I have a beutifully golden loaf of awesome bread.

Christmas is right around the corner......

and I am not sure what to do about it, lol. My husband is 1 of 7 kids and I am the oldest of 5 so our list could be huge. Add 22 nieces and nephews with 21 being from my husband and we are full to bursting with names. If we bought for everyone we would be broker than Gracie's thermometer. So our solution has varied depending on family but for the hubs side we draw names as families so there are 7 entered and you buy a family gift for under $30. Great solution. My family has procrastinated so who knows what's up there. I also plan to have Bug adopt 2 "Angels" off of a giving tree so she can learn more about the spirit of giving rather than focusing on the getting side. This weekend I am going to decorate and hopefully get the tree. (We have to do fresh because husband is allergic to plastic.) That will help fill the house with the spirit of the season. For me that is my favorite part. The joy and love, the smells and tastes, the lights and the music. Hubs and I as usual spoiled each other and the girls despite telling the other to buy nothing, lol. He says thats what couples do. We also are going to follow up on some traditions. For example I am not a fan of those large packages of ornaments that are all the same. I like individual. So Hub and I started when we were first together each picking an ornament every year that is unique and all our own. After Bug came she joined in and this year we have Squeak so we will add 4 new ornaments. I think it is one of my favorite things. What traditions do you guys have? Let us know!!

Eating Pantry Staples

My goal this last month of so, has been to eat as much as I can out of my pantry and food storage. I've been stockpiling things on a regular basis, but I've also been forgetting to rotate anything out. One solution for this (although not the best solution granted) is to stop buying groceries for awhile.

Obviously, I have to buy some things, like fresh veggies and dairy here and there, and meat at least once a week. But so far I've been able to pull some decent meals together without having to seriously put myself out on a limb.

Since I'm only feeding 1.5 people, a little can stretch a long way. A pan of cornmeal can be a side at one meal, and be used for a Tex-Mex style casserole the next. We can eat a pound of spaghetti for 3 days straight. And instead of worrying about having to buy expensive fresh red meat every few days, I can supplement it easily with frozen Jimmy Dean Sausage and my leftover Venison from last hunting season.

I'll try to keep you as updated, although I've been pretty bad about keeping up with the blog! Sorry about that!

Wahhhhhh.....more snow.

We got about 18 inches of snow on Monday. The temp took a turn for the worse and we were lucky to get above 0 for the last three days. This afternoon we are supposed to get hit with yet another snow storm. This one is scheduled to last three days. I may have to tunnel out.
Hrmph. I really hate winter.

Nutty weather!!

Can you believe this crazy weather? Maggy has been lucky to get out of the teens for over a week now. We have had highs in the 40's and I am in the dessert for goodness sake. Poor Gracie has snow out the ying yang. I am a firm believer that humanity is affecting the climate but I am not sure that we are warming totally but going more extreme in both directions. My Husband has been lucky to get to work and have it be above freezing and when you work outside that can suck rocks. How is everyone else's weather? I sure hope everyone is warm and dry!!

I did it!!

I hit the 50k mark and won NaNoWriMo this year. I even took 3 days off for Thanksgiving weekend. I have to say it is incredibly gratifying to be able to accomplish such a wonderful goal. The book isn't done, lol, but I have an awesome start and I hope to finish by February.

In case you ever wanted to know...

This is what 35 cents looks in the stomach of an almost 4 year-old.