Ninja Pre-schooler: Tale of the Locked Door

The Boy is a ninja. Seriously, I have no idea how such a small person can cause so much havoc. It's beyond my level of reasoning. Just about every entry/exit point in my house (including windows) is jimmy-rigged in some way to prevent escape. My house is more secure then some prisons, I'd guess. But anyway, I'm off subject.

Friday night, it was just about bedtime and I told the Boy if he picked up his room he could watch Bolt with me for half an hour. If he didn't pick up the toys, it was straight to bed. I heard him shuffling around for about 5 mins, then he comes out of the room, shuts the door and proclaims it clean. I told him I'd go check and then we'd start the movie. I reach for the door and he starts yelling "No, no! Don't look Mom!". As you can guess, this is not usually a good sign. I reach for the handle, and turn. Nothing. Jiggle jiggle... JIGGLE JIGGLE.

He locked the door. From the inside. Then shut the door, locking he and I out.

I check out the knob and it's one of those types with the little hole. Stick in a bobby pin or something and it pops open. Not a problem. I find a couple different things that should work and start poking. Nothing is budging this door.

I call David (the neighbor) and ask if there's a trick to the doors. He says "Is it the one with the hole in it?" "Yes" "Just stick a nail or something in and it'll pop right open". I get off the phone with him and call BD (his brother, who used to be a neighbor) and have virtually the same conversation. Nothing is opening this damn door. BD offers to try his luck when he gets back into town Saturday night, and we hang up.

No big deal, right? One night. The Boy can just sleep with me. Then I look at him and realize I hadn't put him in a pull up yet. He still wets the bed, and I just got a brand new queen size pillow top. He had 3 glasses of milk with dinner. There is no way in heck he's sleeping in my bed with no pull up. Pull ups are his room, behind the unlock-able door.

I take a deep breath, scavenge through my garage and get some screwdrivers and things. Slowly but surely I managed to take off the knob. I poke around at the mechanism and it still won't unlock. I continue removing parts and eventually get the door unlocked (which was honestly a bit anti-climatic after all that work). I replaced the knob, and put the boy to bed.

It took me quite a chunk of time, but at least now I know what to do with the stupid door the next time the Boy locks it (Notice, I didn't say *if* he locks it).

Ninja Raccoon Night Attacks

My neighborhood has raccoons. Not just little cutesy ones either. Big, growly, mean ones. I know because I came face to face with one not long ago, and not only did it chase me in the house but it growled and hissed at me through the back door. I'm actually glad it didn't whip out a switch blade and slice my tires, take out a patrol car or hold a poor kitten hostage.


Apparently my brand spankin' new handy-dandy Compost Bin is a buffet of happy raccoon goodness. The other morning when I left the house to go to work, I realized that the front door of the bin had been torn off AGAIN. The raccoons had made off with everything edible. They even sifted through it to get the rotting onions off the bottom. And I know raccoons it was because they left their grubby paw prints all over my container. I guess I should consider myself lucky they didn't take off with the whole thing for use in their crazy psychotic raccoon fortress.

I'm thinking this weekend might be a good one to spend the stinking $20 and invest in a pellet gun. Lila's husband suggested baiting them, but mentioned it might kill some neighborhood cats. I don't have cats, so I don't see this as an issue, but I can see it possibly kicking up a fuss. I can't effectively lock the thing (I looked) and it's plastic so they'd probably just tear out the lock anyway.

Damn you raccoons! Damn you!

A funny for your Friday