Saturday, April 25, 2009

Ninja Raccoon Night Attacks

My neighborhood has raccoons. Not just little cutesy ones either. Big, growly, mean ones. I know because I came face to face with one not long ago, and not only did it chase me in the house but it growled and hissed at me through the back door. I'm actually glad it didn't whip out a switch blade and slice my tires, take out a patrol car or hold a poor kitten hostage.

Apparently my brand spankin' new handy-dandy Compost Bin is a buffet of happy raccoon goodness. The other morning when I left the house to go to work, I realized that the front door of the bin had been torn off AGAIN. The raccoons had made off with everything edible. They even sifted through it to get the rotting onions off the bottom. And I know raccoons it was because they left their grubby paw prints all over my container. I guess I should consider myself lucky they didn't take off with the whole thing for use in their crazy psychotic raccoon fortress.

I'm thinking this weekend might be a good one to spend the stinking $20 and invest in a pellet gun. Lila's husband suggested baiting them, but mentioned it might kill some neighborhood cats. I don't have cats, so I don't see this as an issue, but I can see it possibly kicking up a fuss. I can't effectively lock the thing (I looked) and it's plastic so they'd probably just tear out the lock anyway.

Damn you raccoons! Damn you!


  1. You could use one of those live traps. That way you could off raccoons you catch and let the neighborhood cats go. The pellet gun is a great plan but you will almost surely not be lying in the prone with the pellet gun when they attack again.

  2. My parents have raccoons in their barn and they are SCARY! My dad got a pellet gun last year but it hasn't really kept them away. They run from people but that's about it. Try moth balls around the top of the compost bin. They hate them and at least they're cheap.

  3. TOR, honestly Im more afraid of meeting these raccoons in the open then zombies. They rank fairly high in my BAMF things-to-stay-away-from list.

    Wifey, mothballs? really? I will try that tomorrow!

  4. Have-A-Heart is a good way to go so you can let the neighbor's cats go if you want to.

    I wouldn't count on the pellet gun working. It will just train them to run faster when they hear people coming. If you are going to shoot them then use something that will kill them.

    Another possibility is outdoor rat baits, but I don't know if the stuff you can buy these days would be potent enough to kill critters the size of a coon.

  5. those creatures are amazingly smart and crafty. you can try those suggestions, but it is only a matter of time before they go buy a master key and make themselves at home in your refrigerator.


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