The Steel Anniversary!

We are about to celebrate our 11th anniversary. Very weird to realize it has been so long. I love him more every day. He spoils me rotten. We have been very lucky to grow together rather than apart as we have gone through our 20's and are entering our 30's. Anyway the gift this year is Steel. I asked for a collapsible baton and a fixed-blade knife. Yeah I  have become that woman. Luckily JW thinks it is hot hehe. Now I am trying to figure out what to get him. He wants a new bi-pod but I like doing fun things too. I want something unique. Survival minded. Ideas? He never reads this so no worries there. Come on y'all help a girl out.

Honoring the brave!

If you were unaware today is the 70th anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Thousands of lives were lost as America was attacked on our own soil that day and heroes rose. I feel like so often my generation and the children growing have lost sight of the foundations of this country. Of the heroes and the hard work. Of the dedication and sheer guts it took to fight back after such an attack. The country joined together to fight. To stand up and defend. I wish those values were still prevalent. Then I see little pieces of evidence and I hope. The picture is of the flags at Bug's school flying at half mast today in remembrance and recognition. I hope she was told about it in class today but just seeing the staff honor the bravery of those who fought that day gives me hope for the future.

2.5 years! Cool.

We suck at actually keeping up on big deal blogging anniversaries. It is a flaw. We are all pretty busy and honestly lucky to remember what day it is let alone our own names half the time. So I got a hankering to look and see when the first post was on the blog and it was by Maggy on 3/24/09. Pretty nifty. We are now 2.5 years old. That is like a teenager in blog years I think! Even though Mags is super hard to get on a computer these days I know I speak for her and Gracie when I say thank you to all who read us and to those who have read us for a long while!! We totally adore the support!! Now if I could get past my funk and think again I would have some decent posts to do!

So now that I've gushed ....

let me tell you about the day. I woke up at 12:30 AM because Squeak was crying. I go in and rock her and she throws up her dinner. She has been dry heaving off and on for 24 hours by this time and managed to throw up a little during her lunch the previous day. I clean her up and nurse her a little to hydrate and calm her and she seems okay but still gaggy. She has a fever and she is fussing. At 1:30 she is in a fitful sleep and still gags sporadically. I wake Hubs to see what he thinks. (He gets up at 2 for work.) He says that if she is keeping liquids down she should be okay. I go back to cuddling her on the couch when she literally gushes all over me. I swear it was at least a 1/2 cup of liquid. I am in panic mode now. This is the first time she has been really sick and it has been a long time since I had a sick baby. I call our pediatrician who has a service and just hang up. I need answers now, not when she can return a page. I scour the phone book hoping for a hot line and find nothing. Totally sucks. Our peds clinic in the PNW had a nurse on 24/7 to help in situations just like this. Finally I am so panicked that she could have something lodged in her intestines or H1N1 or some other very bad thing that I wake Hubs and Bug and we go to the ER. We were in and out in half an hour. The verdict - Stomach virus. The Dr. said if it was flu she would be coughing and if it was something lodged she would not have any of the diarrhea she was producing. She still had tears and her mouth was moist so he sent us home to watch her. So I spent a long night on the couch with her.

I put her to bed about an hour ago. She has not thrown up since that last gush before the ER and no runny diapers since 3 PM so I am pretty hopeful we are done with that though I'll keep her home and watched closely the next couple of days. Her appetite is back and she seems to want to nurse a lot. PHEW.

It is actually kind of ironic that we ended up in the ER when we did the same 9 years ago after our wedding. Then it was because I had a major infection in my throat. I could not swallow or talk or even speak. I did not eat any of the food at our reception and only ate enough cake for the pictures. Our honeymoon was going from the ER to my MIL's house to the dentist to remove my wisdom teeth. It seems the infection started there and spread down my throat. It sucked.

Anyway back to the present day. Hubs stayed home since I royally messed up his sleep and I was a wreck. On the plus side we exchanged our gifts. (I got him a ceramic folding knife with leather pouch and he got me a gorgeous ring and a huge mug. The 9th anni gifts are leather and pottery. My leather was on the ring box!) We also watched our favorite shows and he went out and grabbed our favorite Mexican food. So despite the worry over Squeak it was a pretty good day.

Anniversary #9

So today marks the 9th anniversary of the day I made the best decision of my life. I married my husband. I always get excited for this day even when all we do some years is hang out at home and just be together. This day marks another year passing in the arms of a pretty incredible man. He really saved my life.

I am a very emotional person, made more so by my bi-polar. When he entered my life I was in a very bad place. I was suicidal and pretty despondent. The relationship I was in had turned toxic, the friendships surrounding me had wonderful moments and moments of extreme sorrow and I felt very alone and unloved. Multiple friends had died that year in heart breaking ways. I felt too different from my happy confident family members to really even consider confiding in them and I was just a mess.

Then came my 17th birthday. My boyfriend at the time had completely blown me off and so my friends decided I needed to go "cruising" which is a pretty big deal in our little town. So there we were when I should run into an old friend and two of his friends. I jumped into their truck and the first words Hubs said to me were "Buckle up, we would hate for something to happen to you." He claims he knew right in that moment that we were meant to be together. My guy is a huge believer in destiny. I was not so sure though. Then came October. Another friend passed away in a very bad car accident. I was feeling absolutely done. I was on the brink when Hubs calls me up and asks me to come by. He took me to my favorite place in the mountains and under the trees, in the moonlight, he let me cry and then he kissed me. I swear if fireworks could have gone off they would have despite how sad I was. Thus began our relationship as a couple. We had ups and downs as I fought through loss, and grief, and depression and he battled similar things. We broke up, often badly, and were drawn together again like a moth to a flame. Finally we got through the immature phase and really committed to each other.

He asked me to marry him on the lid of a delivered pizza box. I said yes. Like all couples we have had good times and bad. We have had moments where both of us considered walking. We fought threw them and now each day is better than the last. He makes me smile when I want to cry and laugh when I want to scream. He is one of the only people who gets me and loves me despite my mood swings, my low self esteem, my fears and hangups. He is okay no matter where I am emotionally on any given day. When I feel close to that dark brink he pulls me back again without even batting an eye. So really, he saves me every day of our lives together.

He is the other half of my soul. Where I am shy he is out going, where he is nervous I thrive. When one of us is feeling weak the other carries the strength for us both. He can complete my sentences. He knows my likes and dislikes. He takes my sarcasm and dishes it right back. He is my partner, my lover, my friend, my rock, my reason. He never pushes me to be something I'm not but always pushes me to fulfill the potential of who I could be. He takes each moment and makes it amazing, even if it is only to watch our favorite shows, or take a drive, or to hold me while I sleep. He provides for us amazingly so I can be what I have always wanted to be. A mother. He treasures me even when I am so frustrated and frumpy I want to hide.

Thank you for 9 amazing years my love!