My thoughts on Robin Williams

I tried to think of a witty title. Some catchy phrase or comforting words to convey my thoughts and pull in readers but honestly every article or blog I've seen has covered the gamut and almost all have just felt off. I feel like so many of the pieces I've read have fit into two categories. They either approach things as a tribute and a "he's free" vibe or they bash him as selfish or cowardly.

To me both are wrong, harmful, and so incredibly dangerous. I've battled with depression my whole life. Before my illness had a name and before I had a support system who supported, believed, and encouraged I attempted suicide. Depression, anxiety, bipolar or any other mood disorder is so much larger than a quick fix. It is often a life long battle. I can't know his thoughts, no one can, but I know debilitating illness. The news of his Parkinsons diagnosis I think sheds more light on his motives. No matter what drove him we must be careful in glorifying or condemning. Instead we have to focus on helping others. On his life. Those are the stories I've liked most.

To me the most important part of this is that he hit a point where he felt so hopeless that he made the ultimate irreversible choice and that we must all make sure that we love those around us so completely that they know that no matter what battle they face they are never judged, never alone, and never forsaken. We must listen. We must love. We must be the light in their darkness.

We must also be willing to talk, to seek help, to count on others when we feel lost. I've been in med changes recently and it has brought back some pretty hard core anxiety attacks. At first I was very resistant to even talk about them. I hate adding more issues for the people I love to see. And that just made them worse. I had to count on the people I love, even at 3 AM.

Be a light. I hope I am.

Parenting

I am surrounded by parents, as we all are, and as my own children grow I pay more attention to the parents I see around me. What they do that works, what doesn't. I see the toddler throwing a tantrum and wonder about the parent behind that child. I see a sweet polite helpful child and wonder the same thing.

I am a firm believer in parents raising children as much as possible and have been blessed with the ability to be home with my kids. I know many such women and still I see so many differences in the way we do things. Since we are all different people that is not surprising but some things others do completely confound me. Like the women desperate for a child to fulfill her. She plans and plots, uses fertility help even though she doesn't need it, and gets pregnant. She talks of her joy in the child, all the things she wants to do with and for the child. Then the child is born and she puts it in a chair so she can go about her day without a worry for the child. Instead of nurturing, the child is more a fashion accessory. Then there are the women who talk of homemade baby food and cloth diapers and co sleeping and sling wearing. They talk about how good their plan is but once it comes time to implement it they realize how much work goes into these things and give up but bash those who didn't try that way first.

Don't get me wrong, I applaud all women who do all they can for their children. I know there are many ways to parent, to teach, to love. I just hate seeing people have children for any other reason than that they want to provide life and love to another being. I hate seeing women who are looking for a way to trap their guy, an added tax deduction, a fashion statement, or because they think they are supposed to. What happened to children being the product of love and of a want to share the love between mates with a being that was created by that love?