A loss is never the end.

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. After I worked my way through those first months of grief and anger and fear I have not been shy about talking about my losses. I think the more society is aware of how truly prevalent this horrible tragic experience is the less it will be a hidden and taboo subject. I heard someone say recently when being asked when they would "Get over" the loss of their child "You never get over anything. That was my child and I lost her BUT I can move forward and I am. She would have wanted me to continue to live my life." For me that is such a truth. I still have moments where I ache. I have moments where I wonder what our lives would be like. I have even blogged on those feelings before. I think every parent that has lost their baby has rough moments no matter what comes after in their lives. It doesn't matter to us if we were pregnant for a week or we carried to term and suffered our loss later. Those little innocent beings were our babies. They were a piece of us. Sometimes we NEED to talk about them and all we need is for others to listen and to let us talk. Our grief is valid, our heartache is real. Those of us who are lucky enough to have validation move forward in a more healthy way but we shouldn't be the only ones. Every single parent who looses a baby should be able to get the love, support, and validation that they need. They should be able to talk openly about their experience without fear of others judgment, comment, or heaven forbid ridicule. Every other baby-loss parent I have talked to has said the same thing to me. They want to be able to have a weak moment without feeling like it's wrong to feel that way. If we start to talk to you about it out of the blue then it is probably a weak moment. Our breath has rushed from our bodies, our hearts of cracked a little and in that moment we have to talk about our loss. Listen. Don't turn away, don't pat us on the hand and say quiet platitudes. We know we will get through it because we work on it every day. Just let us feel what we feel and once the moment has passed and we have expressed what we needed to and feel like you understand and care we will probably get back to the joys and turmoil of life. When you are a parent and you suffer this loss you are forever changed and you need to be able to be changed and not hide it away and pretend it never happened. It doesn't just go away. A loss really is never the end of anything especially when it is a loss like this.

Amazing Rescue and Mining In My Life.

Who is not is awe by the rescue of the miners in Chile? 28 men are out as of now with 5 to go. These men are miracles. 2,000 feet down, buried under 700,000 tons of rock for 69 days. They have broken every mine disaster survival record by a landslide. Heck they have broken most disaster records. To be so far down with so few rations and to survive for so long is beyond miraculous. No one in recorded history has survived being trapped this deep for this long. They made 48 hours worth of food last well over 2 weeks. As they are emerging from the depths they are looking to be in better health than anyone could have ever imagined. Some are showing mental issues once they reach the hospital but that is to be expected. I know I would be a basket case if I had endured this.

This is by far not the worlds worst mining disaster. In fact it won't even rate if measured by casualties because lives have not been lost. The survival is what makes this story unique, the amazing rescue is what makes this story unique. Mining in general ranks as one of the deadliest professions in the world. Luckily the US isn't the worst place to be with 69 deaths in 2006-2007 according to MSHA and 11800 injuries reported. Other countries are not so lucky. China reports thousands of deaths each year.

Despite living in a country that tries to protect its miners we all know that does not always happen. We lost 29 coal miners in April of this year. It was one of the deadliest losses in decades for the US. If you also add the deaths related to mining the count jumps. Mining is a hard life. It is a back breaking life. Some of the men (and women but for this purpose I am going to not be politically correct.) choose this life for the money or the job security, some feel they have no other choice as it is the only real job source for miles, others follow behind fathers and uncles, and some just love digging in the earth. Still others do it not for what they pull from the ground but what is formed once the pulling is done. Tunnel builders are miners too, they just don't do it for what is in the ground but what they build beneath it. Hubby has done both. He worked in coal when we were first married as a subcontractor. He did the weld work on the support system. Every day he went 14 miles below ground and welded in a sometimes combustible atmosphere that was always dangerous. He was always in an unstable zone and there to make it more stable. Now he builds tunnels. The jobs he has been on so far have been under the water table so if a cave in occurs there is no chance of a void to keep him safe. Mud and water will fill each and every crevice. If he wasn't crushed he would drown. This newest job seems to be pretty unstable as well. You can never know exactly what every inch of ground is going to be made up of until you are in it despite all the geologic checking in the world. He will still go every day though because he loves it and because his job improves life. In this particular job it ensures a water supply for the area when they are at risk of loosing it.

The family of a miner also has to step up. We have to send our men off every day with a smile knowing they are at risk. We need to be supportive. We need to always understand that they are in a high stress situation for hours every work day and with that comes a need to let off steam. I am blessed that Hubby's release is watching movies and hunting. I also have to hide my fear. Hearing my worry does nothing but take his mind off of his job and that can cause more harm than good. I live knowing that in my husband's case rescue is a slim shot. Recovery is probably even a slim shot. I also will not ever ask him to stop doing what he loves despite the physical and mental toll. I am so proud of him and of the work he does. I will always be proud to be a miner's wife!!

I know there are many other dangerous jobs. There are many men and women who risk their lives every day to do what they do to make the world a better place and many families who love and support them as they do it. I respect each and every one of them immeasurably and am not writing this to take away from them. I am writing this because I want the world to be aware of the amazing job that miners do every day and the stress they face to do it. They deserve more miracles such as the one we are watching today.

Bountiful Basket!!

If you are committed to eating healthy then you probably buy a lot of produce. I know I do. My kids love it, my husband loves it, and I..... well I force myself because it is better for my FMS. I am amazed at how much it can cost to buy our fruit and veggies for the week. Recently I found an amazing solution courtesy of a friend even more dedicated to the healthy living mentality. Bountiful Baskets!! For $15 for a normal basket and $25 for Organic I get multiple fruits and vegetables!! Easily lasts for the week. Last week I did the organic basket (they do them every other week.) I got 4lbs of apples, 3 mango, about 8 nectarine, 2 big melons, 2 heads lettuce, tomato, 3 little tomato looking things of different colors, and broccoli. I love it. It forces me to eat even better because I don't want it to spoil and it makes everyone else happy because they get a better variety than picky Mom usually brings home. The only addition I made from the store was green grapes because Monkey is addicted!! I also spent an extra $10 and got 7 dozen tortillas in varying sizes and types. I just placed my order for this week and I got a basket and my add on is 2lbs of Apple Cranberry Raisin granola. I am saving money and eating better and am so thrilled with this discovery. Now I am sure you are wondering what on earth it is. Well a couple of women were tired of the expense of produce and were determined for their families to eat better. So they started Bountiful Baskets. It is a co-op. Every one puts in their money and in return these wonderful women arrange to buy as locally as possible saving on the cost of transportation and making it more affordable to buy. For example instead of getting their bananas from South America which is the usual place the big stores use BB ships from Mexico. Apples from WA, Oranges from Arizona or Cali. Another cool thing is this is year round when the farmers markets are seasonal. I am so impressed and thrilled with this find! It is available in almost all of the western states so look them up and see if there is a location near you!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?

It's snowing here already. Not in the valley, thank goodness. But the top of the mountains is covered in snow and it is COLD!! I guess it's time to pull the winter clothes down out of the attic.

Lame

I didn't do anything I had planned this summer. I wanted to plant a garden..it snowed untill mid June. It is already freezing in August. That is a SHORT growing season. A garden wasn't going to happen.
I wanted to really get out there with my books of edible and medicinal plants that grow naturally in my area. Again, with the weather, most of them never really came up this year. Plus it was too cold to do much.
We went on a diet and most of the stuff in our food storage were things we were not alowed to eat. Food storage got ignored and never expanded on.
This summer has just flat out been lame.

Chicken issues

Well, our rooster has been having a few problems.
The first one is his early morning crowing. I think I have this one solved though. He was crowing every morning at 4 AM!! One morning I had enough, I slipped on my robe and slippers and went stoping out to the chicken yard. Slash was half way through the cat door we installed for them and was crowing at the top of his lungs. Right in the middle of his Cock-a-doodle-doo, I swatted him on the rear. He let out a screech and landed about 10 ft away. The next morning he got it again. Now he doesn't crow before six. I am pretty satisfied with the results.
The second issue is a little harder to solve. The hens have been picking the top of his head bald. He was like that when I got him but my hens are just making the problem worse. I have tried putting hit pepper mixed with neosporin on him but that seemed to make it worse. Last night I used black salve and sat down to watch him to make sure they werent going to hurt him more. I watched three seperate hens come up to him and attempt to pluck a feather. They got close enough to strike and caught a whiff of that nasty stuff and walked away. Hopefully this is our cure! I also put vinegar in their water as I have heard this could be caused by a mineral deficency that vinegar will take care of. If anyone has any other suggestions, I would love to hear them!!

Quote of the day

Phone conversation between Maggy and I:

Maggy: I have to call you back, I am at the boys soccer practice.
Me: Ohhhh, thats right! You are a soccer mom now!
Maggy: Shut up.
click.

My guru rocks!!

Okay so most who know me know I am super out-spoken about children and protecting them. I am a firm believer that we as parents need to do everything we possibly can to support, love, and nurture our children. I think that when you can having a single income household so that a parent is with the children at all times is a huge benefit. I know that it is not always an option and am in no way coming down on the families where both adults need to work or the single parent. (Our Maggy is a working Mom and does an amazing job!) I think children benefit the most from being raised by their own parents. So today I was checking up on my favorite blogs and went to the guru! My guru is Dr. Laura. Honestly her book "The proper care and feeding of husbands" saved my marriage and I still apply the things I learned to my interactions with my husband. She is very no-nonsense and I love her. So when I saw this entry I wanted to stand up and cheer. For those who don't want to go look it is about an article that was passed to her about child deaths from being left in a car in the heat. She comments that the majority of these deaths are because a parent forgets to drop the child off at day care. I also loved the paragraph where she deals with the articles reasoning that the mother forgot her child and her response to those reasons.

Let’s look at her stressful month of September: business trips, day care, work, visits with relatives and anxiety. How many of those factors would have been eliminated if she was a stay-at-home mom? Answer: ALL OF THEM, and the child would likely be alive.

Sadly she is spot on. She then lists the suggestions made by the article on how to prevent this from happening and he comments on those are also very right.

The article ends up giving suggestions so you won’t forget your kid to die in your back seat while you are busy with what is more important.

1. Put something that really matters to you - like your cell phone - in the back seat with the child. Do you realize that means that your cell phone is more important than your child?

2. Keep a teddy bear in the baby car seat. When you put your kid in the seat, put the teddy in front, so you’ll see it and remember you have a child. After all, you’re a “busy employee.”

3. Ask your child’s child-care provider to call you on your cell phone if your kid doesn’t get there. Oh, so now the day care, minimum-wage worker is more responsible for your kid than you are?

4. Put visual cues in your office and home reminding you to check the car seat. Gee, I thought parental love and bonding did that. Guess not.

I agree with every single comment she made after these atrocious suggestions. Really? Step up and make parenting the priority. If it is you won't forget your kids in the car. I am sure many will find this insensitive and unfeeling and I am sorry you feel that way but when did children stop being a the focus and purpose of a parents life?

The new hen house

The coop is complete! It has six nest boxes that I can access from the outside, a roost near the roof for safe sleeping and a slatted floor for easy cleaning. We plan on putting skirting around the bottom in the winter to help keep them warm. In all it cost around $600 to build. I was hoping we could do it cheaper but even a building this small is expensive to build. We figure it will take about two years of 5 eggs a day to pay for the coop. Wondering if it was really worth it?

Quote of the day

While building the new chicken coop:
Hubby: do you think this nest box is strong enough?
Me: Honey, it's a chicken coop, they aren't going to be playing racket ball in here.