So my secret should be revealed!

I write. HAHA! More than this blog actually. I write romantic suspense books. None published yet since I teamed up with a do-nothing agent who refused to do the work he was supposed to. Anyway I am working on my website and when it is done I would love input from everyone. Besides my family and loved ones writing is my passion. I chose romantic suspense for a couple reasons. 1- I love a good love story. 2- Suspense lets me kill people on paper that drive me insane thus relieving stress and helping me to not want to really hurt them, lol. Like an ex sister in law who shall remain nameless. So I look forward to sharing another big part of me with all of you!

The hard truth....

Tonight I was watching a movie I had never seen. Based on a well known teen book series it falls into the category of husband will never watch with me. One of the characters was dying. As she lay under the stars discussing this with a friend she said something that struck home for me. She said that it wasn't death that scared her but more that she would not be able to become who she was supposed to be or that she would miss so much. I have always been afraid of death and I think this explains it better. It is not that I lack faith in what lays beyond this life but that once this life is over I will not have become what I was meant to be or that I will miss things in the lives of people I love. I think that is why I worry so much about death and keeping it at bay. I strive to be the best mother and wife that I can be. I put my heart and soul into all I do for my girls and all the life that I live. I make sure that every moment of every day my husband knows that I love him, that I have always loved him, and that my love for him grows richer and fuller with each breath we take together. I am devoted to my family, to Gracie and Maggy, to being all I can for them. My greatest fear is not the dying but that I will not have fulfilled something for those that I love that I should have. I know that all of my life is in the hands of a higher power, I trust that all will be as it should, I just hope that as it should be is after a long life of seeing my girls grown and happy and of having my marriage continuing to thrive and grow as each year passes.

Army of Dude

I generally avoid military blogs. Especially "I'm in Iraq" blogs. I have some war issues, as most of you know (if not see here). Hell, I know a fair amount of the boys in My War by Colby Buzzell, and I still haven't read the damn thing. But I was stumbling today and came across a blog called Army of Dude. This soldier served in Iraq with Ex-hole unit. They weren't in the same battalion, but it was the same brigade, and they were generally in the same place, same time, same games.

Possibilities.

I love and hate possibilities.

This past weekend was spent with extended family celebrating the baptism of one of my nephews. We also went to the local county fair. My husband and I try very hard to do things we not only enjoy but that the kids will love. we love the carnivals. Sure the games are rigged, lol, and the rides more expensive than needed but that is part of the fun. We had saved so we could treat all the nieces and nephews to the carnival. We bought 210 ride tickets, passed them out, and set them loose. None of the children except my daughter Bug had ever been on the rides of a carnival. WOW. The eldest was 13. How is that possible? Now of course we are the coolest aunt and uncle around, lol.

Anyway that night I also had the opportunity to reflect on the possibilities. People, things, places can come along in our lives offering us the chance to experience them. Sometimes it is not a real chance, merely a glance at the potential. For me this possibility came in the form of a child we were to adopt before the mother changed her mind. This was the first time I had seen the child in person and I found my arms aching for her. It was as if just that possibility over a year ago made her mine even though she was not with me. Her circumstances are not the best right now and I could not help but reflect on how much better her life would be if she were with us.

RIP laptop

So my laptop is breathing its last. I will post if and when I can but if I am offline for a while, it's because the computer is dead and I have more important things to spend my money on at the minute than a new computer. Maybe Lila and Maggy will pop in a hello from me from time to time. (hint hint) Keep safe everyone.

Uplifting news.

So I have been doing my usual news wandering. In all the crime, and economic, and depressing news a story I read really stood out to me. A man who had a heart transplant is competing in Ironman this year. How awesome is that? This guy has had years and years of illness and hardship. He beats one thing ad another jumped him like a street thug yet now he is so healthy that he is running one of the biggest races on the planet. I say 3 cheers for him and for others like him who continue to fight against all odds and come out winners. Even if all he does is finish before the deadline to me he is a huge winner!!!

Slutty Cyrus?

I can't even believe I'm blogging about stupid Miley Cryus. A small piece of my soul withers up and dies any time someone mentions her or her multiple personalities. But she's a big hit on the celebrity gossip sites and tabloids, and well, I might read several of them. Maybe, but I'm not admitting anything.

Most of this started when some time ago, when doing a shoot for Annie Leibovitz a controversial photo of her 'topless' was taken and released. She and her parents released statements expressing their "shock" and yata yata blah blah blah. I think it's a crock of bull. It's Annie Leibovitz (one of the most successful fashion photographers in the world). My guess is she was all for it.

Next, someone hacked into her phone, and released several racy photos onto the Internet. REALLY not impressive of someone who is 15 (I think at the time) but whatever. Sounds like something her parents need to take care of. It isn't for us to judge her. Not to mention, many everyday 15 year olds are doing MUCH worse. Like I said, not impressed, but really people? Calling her a slut and a whore I'm sure is going to make her change her opinion of herself, right?

Last week, Miley performed on the Nickelodeon Teen Choice awards. I didn't watch it, I'm not a teen and really I don't care. The next morning, every site I'm on is screaming "Miley Cyrus was pole dancing!". I ignored it for a while, but today I was bored and curious so I found a video on YouTube. I will give it to the critics, I'm a mom albeit a young one and I wouldn't want my 7-10 year old to see this. But I have more of a problem with her bra hanging out and her ass hanging out of her shorts (after all the girl is 16!) then her 'pole' dancing. But then again, when I was 16 I don't think I wore much more then a bikini the whole summer. Honestly I think if someone had had to brains to add a collapsed umbrella to the pole no one would have said a thing.

Jackpot!

Like Lila, I excited for this hunting season! Not only because it means a plethora of home-soaked and smoked elk jerky (JERKY!) and venison steaks, but because all my little hunters are emptying out their deep freezes to make room for the new! Yesterday, a friend of mine stopped by and dropped off 5 lbs (in 1lb wraps) of ground venison for me to have! Sa-weeet! He's also getting me a couple cords of wood for the winter, but that's a whole 'nother thing.

My own problem is, although I've had enough venison and elk and moose (yum, moose...) to be bursting at the gills, I've yet to really cook it myself. I know venison can be amazing, but I'm worried about the gamey taste a little bit with feeding the Boy. I'm not sure he'll notice, but this meat has been in a deep freeze for almost a year and I'm not sure how that will affect the taste.

Anyone have any wondrous sage advice or forewarning I should know about?

Time for the Bow Hunt.

So it is that time of year again. Time to break out the bow, put the broad heads on the arrows and go hunt some deer. We are pretty excited. We are firm believers in only hunt what you will eat so we have not hunted for a few years because we had no place to store the meat. Welp new house meant more space meant we bought a deep freeze. WOOT. So now we have the space to store some meat and I am so excited. We have to go to a diff state because we are not residents here yet and out of state tags are like 1200. Yuck. So here's to fun weekends in the mountains. I'll let you know how we do.

Sunday drive

Yesterday afternoon we decided to take the hound for a run and turn it into a nice little sunday drive. We started off with a certain destination in mind. We had no idea it would take so long to get there or what route would most effeciently take us back home. Our little " sunday drive " ended up taking 9 1/2 hours and took across state lines. This is something we have a tendancy to do each time we want to check out a new location. At least this time we stayed within range of a gas station at all times. And we didn't start our vehicle on fire. Ahhh, what adventures we have!