Monday, July 18, 2011

Sometimes you need to be selfish.

We live the concept of "If you have it, share it." I think we have made the mistake of sharing too much and putting some of our needs/wants last. I know I have posted about it before because it is a theme we repeat but I think this time we are serious about changing that. We very much want to help the people that we love, we hate to see them hurting but I think we have helped to the point that we don't have some of the things done that I wish we did.

We live in a horrible housing market. Houses in our neighborhood have dropped even lower in the 2 years since we bought so even though we are not as upside down as most we will need to stretch to break even when we sell after this project is done. We need to finish the back yard and paint the entire house as well as do some small things to help that happen.

My eyesight is not perfect anymore. My astigmatism came back. To fix it I need to go back to the Lasic center that did my original surgery in the PNW. This means at least 3 nights away, alone, and an eye surgery while there.

My husband has several things he wants to take care of that require money. They aren't "have to do", none of this is really, BUT they are pretty important to us and with the hard work that he does he deserves for those things to be taken care of.

We have pushed those things aside as well as some of the prepping list to help others. I don't feel like any of the choices we made were mistakes necessarily but I do think that it is okay to put some of our own list ahead of others needs more than we do. Does that make me evil? I feel evil. The evil meter North found said we weren't too bad but when I feel like this I think that has to be wrong. Uggg..... Sometimes finding a good balance is a hard thing to do huh?


  1. You are not alone. Balance is a difficult goal.

    If you tip too far one way, you may need to tip far the other way for a short time to get back to the middle.

  2. I think we are hitting that spot and while I think we both know we need to we still feel bad about it.

  3. You aren't selfish. My wife and I help out our kids, and that has meant some sacrifice. But that's about it. You have to cover your own bases too. I remember I was reading a book about "The Great Leap Forward" some years back. There was a story in there about an elderly couple who had grown kids, and the kids came to visit at dinner time. Food was impossible for the average Chinese to find then, so the parents were urging the kids to stay for dinner , while desperately hoping they wouldn't. The kids were refusing, while at the same time they really wanted to because they were hungry.

    You just do what you can but don't feel guilty about what you can't do. None of us are in the position of that Chinese family (yet.)

  4. oh, i think taking care of yourselves sometimes is necessary to then continue helping others - like your eyesight correction. no need to feel guilt over that!

  5. Thanks guys. Gracie and Maggy say I need to practice saying "No." because I tend to say yes even when I should know better.


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