Friday, July 29, 2011
Monkey in the dark.
My little Monkey has developed a new quirk. She hates her bed. I never did the Cry It Out thing. I nursed her as long as she wanted. I am one who believes that little ones grow as they are supposed to, especially when they have the benefit of having Mommy home to love and take care of and nurture them. I let Bug decide when she was ready to go to bed on her own and have the same plan with Monkey. She still likes to be cuddled to sleep. Last night she got ready for bed by putting on her nightgown and her pull-up and then we dug out her "Nawa" (She still refuses to say water right even though she knows how, hehe) She was set. As soon as we climbed into her bed the tears started. Even when I could calm her down she would relax for a minute or two and then sob again. She kept saying. "No like my bed Mama, Me no like it." I got her calmed enough that at one point she said she was afraid and together with Nephew and her sister we turned on her lights and looked her whole room over but still she wouldn't be comforted. I am hoping it passes as some of her other anti-sleep fazes have but I hate thinking I am torturing her. I finally put her in my bed after over an hour of sobbing and she went right to sleep. A few hours later when I went to bed I moved her to her room. She managed to make it a little over an hour before she woke up and was hysterical. I don't know how to make her more happy about her room. I am planning to move things around and get her toys more easily accessible in her room. She has been getting up super early and I am hoping having more toys available might give me some relief from the 5 AM wakeup calls. Plus she is getting bigger and I want to take the rocking chair out of her room. Maybe I will do that this weekend and let her pick some new bedding. See if that helps her feel better if it feels like a new room. Any other thoughts or ideas?
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I don't know how old your daughter is, but regardless of age, sleep issues are horrible. Since she is accustomed to having you sleep with her, is it possible that having you stay in the room for a while might help? Maybe you could read a book while you rock in the chair? She would be able to see you and maybe that would calm her fears?
ReplyDeleteAs for getting rid of the rocking chair, I love having recliners or gliders in my kids' rooms. If you have the space, I'd recommend keeping it in there. My older boy still loves to read and hang out in his chair and we all still snuggle on them. :)
My little one is 2 1/2. She loves books so I am thinking of rearranging things so that there is a lamp close to her bed so we can read a story or two easily at bedtime and then turn the light out while still being curled up. She sleeps decently most of the time and is out once she is out usually. That's why this new thing is so odd. SHe had a couple weeks where only daddy could put her to bed. Those were fun. She is independent and once she gets an idea into her head it sticks for a little bit. My mom made her some curtains and pillows with Monkeys so hopefully we get those up soon.
ReplyDeleteShe does love to rock sometimes but she has her own rocking chair. She just throws blankets and stuff onto my glider so it is taking up her play space, lol. She is funny.
Look for a DVD called "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I saw it last night as part of our foster/adoption training. Some interesting thoughts on dealing with young children who are having tantrum issues.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shepherd. I've heard about it before but never watched it.
ReplyDeleteHonestly this didn't seem like a tantrum, she rarely has those though she has had some big ones when she does. It was weird. She seems a lot like me. I got scared of things sometimes and am not a fan of scary movies. Funny since I love paranormal books lol. She seems to have that same sensitivity. She tells us "Scaries" every so often about shadows, loud noises, strange places and such. Last night it was her bed.
It may or may not be a tantrum, but it sounds like a situation where she is not able to communicate that's important to her at the moment. The video helps with understanding how to respond to that on her level in a way that she can deal with.
ReplyDeleteRight. And once I got her feeling safe enough to talk to me and she told me she was afraid we looked her room over. When that didn't comfort her I knew sleeping by daddy would. I can usually get through the crying thing. It is correcting what is upsetting her that I need to figure out in this specific instance. How to make her room feel good for her.
ReplyDeleteIt's fear. Fear of the unknown in her little life. She will need you until she can reason with it. It is not a tantrum.
ReplyDeletePretty much my thinking. Tantrums for either of my girls are very rare I think because we listen to them. Just trying to figure out how to calm that fear so she is comfortable in her bed. She has decided she hates sleep. Tried her room for a nap today and she was not pleased because. "No like naps Mama." This one I tried to push for a minute because I knew she was tired but then I thought about it. She really didn't usually nap for a while. Only the past couple weeks did she want a nap. So why push it? Yes she will get a bit whiny this evening but fighting her doesn't help. So we went downstairs and cuddled.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a little kid, I was scared of the dark. My dad didn't care. He was disgusted that one of his kids would be afraid of anything. So he put me in my bed, turned out the light and shut the door. I hid under the sweltering blanket, breathing through a tiny hold I made for my mouth and I was afraid to move. I was only about four or so, but I remember it. All I wanted was a night light or to have the door cracked, but no. When I had kids, I never told them to turn out the light or shut their doors. They did that themselves when they were ready, and at about the same age I was when my dad shut me in the "black hole."
ReplyDeleteYeah Hubby and I both had parents of the heavy hand and suck it up variety. We have made sure our girls know that we are always there. That's why we keep our door open at night for them. Bug it is pretty rare but we still get her crawling in with us from time to time. Monkey more often. Both have nightlights still. Bug only uses hers sometime and hers are a dull blue and pretty dim. Monkey's are the brighter white. We never want either to feel like we aren't listening. I just completely rearranged Monkeys room and cleaned the storage out of her closet and filled it with her toys and fun things. I also found some of the big Disney storybooks we bought Bug and pulled them out and now they are on Monkeys dresser. we will read 2 stories a night. I started that last night and she loved it. So she is already liking her room more. It is my job to always make her feel safe and cherished and I take that seriously.
ReplyDelete