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Wednesday, July 6, 2011
A cause very close to my heart.
For the newcomers to the blog I will share the background before making my plea. I am a fertility dud. Hubby and I have had 2 losses that we know of. When I had my most recent loss in 2008 my then doctor told me she would do nothing to see what the issue was until I had 3 consecutive losses. Since I had carried a healthy baby to term that meant she wanted 2 more miscarriages. Well I was a mess. I was suicidal. It had taken years for us to conceive each pregnancy. I was then referred to a new OBGYN by a friend from church who was facing the same thing. After some testing we discovered I didn't produce the correct hormones to sustain pregnancy and had very likely had multiple early miscarriages. I was lucky enough that my new doctor's hope and those tests meant that when I came up pregnant again fairly quickly I was put on meds and after a rough pregnancy was able to have our little Monkey. But I still grieved at the thought of all the potential babies I knew about or didn't know about. I knew that I physically and mentally could not handle more losses and made the choice to tie my tubes. I wanted to feel less alone. Another baby loss Mom led me to an amazing organization called Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. They are all about raising awareness of pregnancy and infant loss and giving support to the parents of those sweet little ones. They have applied for a grant in the Pepsi Refresh Contest and need votes. So I am asking you to vote. Vote for your mom, your wife, your sister, your daughter, your friend. Vote for every woman who has or will have to go through this very painful experience. This group gives support and comfort when it seems like no one else on earth can possibly understand. They deserve to gain the ability to spread their love farther!
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While I was in Lebanon my wife had a miscarriage. The Naval Hospital in Naples was not set up to care for dependents so she didn't get much help. We had a daughter later, and then a son, both very premature but we were back in the states then, and had access to good medical care. If we'd been overseas in some out of the way place like I always seemed to wind up, they wouldn't have survived.
ReplyDeleteEven here care can be minimal. Add that discussing it seems like a forbidden topic and women can feel so alone. The men are left to grieve and support their devestated women all while others say to get over it. That's why I find this organization so amazing. They are working to spread support info into hospitals and train people to help with this very unique and devestating grief.
ReplyDeleteI'm originally from Louisiana, so I voted early and often.
ReplyDeleteHope it gets the grant. Will get others to vote over and over again.
Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteYour first ob/gyn gets the "Needs smacked upside head" award!
ReplyDeleteYes she does! She later left the practice through mysterious reasons that no one would disclose and all her patients were handed off to other docs. She was a family practice doc with OB specialty so we ended up with a new general doc who was great but it always made us figure we weren't the only ones she treated like utter dirt.
ReplyDeleteDone, and God bless.
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough road. I gave a child up for adoption as a teenager and people ignored my grief, not knowing how to deal with it. Almost 20 years later, I lost another baby, very late term. People still didn't know how to handle it. Bless you for bringing it up and spreading the caring.
ReplyDeleteThank you Brigid. As women we have this gift of carrying life and many celebrate the joy of that. The hard choices, the terror, the pain of loss gets swept aside because the intensity of a womans grief over her child is hard to comprehend. Hugs for both of those experiences. Adoption comes with a unique grief but is such a commendable choice. My first loss was as a teenager and was surrounded in such a swirl of emotion. Thank you for reading.
ReplyDelete