Friday, July 24, 2009


I just got a letter from TriWest (aka the military insurance company) informing me I have a week to choose my new PCM (aka Primary doctor). Um, excuse me? I was granted my final divorce decree from ex-hole late last year. He told me he had notified the Army, which we obviously hasn't seeing as they still have me as his dependent. I called the office number I was given, and they explained to me I couldn't do jack-crap about it. Even if I fax/mail them our divorcee decree, they still have to recieve all the same information from Ex-Hole and big fat chance of that happening seeing as he gets a chunk of cash each month for having the extra person on his stuff.

Wouldn't you think that the Army would want to know this sort of thing? Maybe save themselves a couple bucks along the way?

So angry right now.


  1. Do you know where the ex is stationed... if you do you can call his unit commanding officer and get him into all kinds of trouble.

  2. If he is still being paid allowances based on two dependents, he'll be SOOL when the Army eventually catches up to the fact. When I married my wife, she was in the Navy and I was in the Marine Corps. She drew quarters allowance and I drew quarters allowance. But when we got married, the Navy said that since we were living in the same apartment we only rated 1/2 the amount we had been receiving as singles, and they took it out of her pay. They were also kind enough to pass the word to the USMC disbursing office, who then took the "overpayment" out of my pay. It always catches up. If I had known we were going to be shafted for getting married, I'd have taken care of it immediately because nobody likes to have their pay messed up, it takes months to get it right again. But I had no idea we would be financially penalized for getting married.

  3. Anon; I know where he's stationed, but he's being med boarded/ shown the door already. I have no info whatsoever on what unit he's in currently, and I doubt he'll just give me the info.

    Hermit, he'll still get dependents pay seeing as I have not (yet) sought to remove his parental rights. But he will lose a chunk of it for not being married. I honestly hope it catches up with him, but by some form of dumb luck, he's pretty much skated on everthing thus far.

    What can I say, I sure can pick winners.

  4. You can visit you nearest military installation (even many reserve, National Guard, or Air National Guard stations) to see if you are in "DEERS" (Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System), a data system that's used to track dependents and their eligibility for govt/military services/privileges. Tri west, and the other zones are manged by contractors, and subcontractors; the DEERS system may not always mesh with theirs. Heck, if you MUST pick a PCM, why not, and at least get a free exam, or something, maybe a new ID card, and a trip to the commissary? (not really good advice, but tempting) It still is good to see if you are actually "in DEERS". If you still are, you can tell whatever clerk you deal with, that you're not supposed to be in the system any more. At least that'll get things started. But I thought you were in the Army; did I read your post wrong?

  5. Integrator: No, I'm in the the Army. My ex was/is in the Army currently. I'm still enrolled in DEERS (that's who I contacted after receiving the letter, I didn't even bother calling TriCare) and they won't take me off until he shows them proof of our divorce.

    I was mostly just annoyed because his chains of command and such have been fallen very short of stellar in my experience both married and not.

  6. Yeah, as soon as I posted that, I realized I mixed you up with someone else. I got here by mistake... maybe a link from commanderZero, or something. You still got an ID card? if not, get one... and start using it until they say you can't. Why not? You got kids, right? cereal's cheap at the commissary; I don't care what any one else says. Come to think of it, as long as he's still in, your kids are dependents, and have base privileges.

  7. The local military base will have some sort of criminal investigation unit, contact them and explain what's happening. Then again maybe the divorce left you with dependant privileges and he just never told you?

    And my 3rd thought is, is this worth any of your time at all? He's an 'ex' and that's water under the bridge. Who cares? Why give him any more space in your head?

    Good luck.


We love comments! We are happy to answer questions, join in debate and conversation, or just say hi. All we ask is for respect. Respect us and others. Keep it civil. Obviously we aren't afraid of cussing but we don't like anyone degraded or invalidated.

We also know we make mistakes. Feel free to call us out. You can't improve things that need it if you aren't aware of it.

If you have an opinion share it but know if it is going to cause hurt to someone we care about we will not approve it.

Most of all have fun!!