Monday.

I have watched CSI, NCIS, Law and Order, Criminal Minds and Unusual Suspects. I can kill you 18 ways and make it look like Alvin and the Chipmunks did it.

I lost my mind... I think my kids took it

WARNING: Due to the recent conditions in behavior in this home, this mom could self-destruct at any moment! Children and husbands approach with caution!

Apparently I have just won the "Meanest Mom Ever" category. Congrats to me.

I am no longer afraid of natural disasters, wild animals, or terrorist attacks...I have sons!

And my personal favorite: Hey, you , yeah , the kid with the smart mouth. Did you know...that the tooth fairy don't leave money for the teeth your mama knocks out?

Today my accomplished the following:

Oldest son nearly broke the middle sons arm.

Middle son throws a tantrum and kicked my trashcan across the room.

Mom got fed up enough to throw the object of the fight across the room and broke it.

Middle son screams that he hates me and that I am the worst mother ever.

Oldest and youngest sons go outside to play with the neighbor kid.

Neighbor kids mom calls to tell me all five boys are on the roof.

Before I can round up all five kids, two have gone home and the other three have scattered.

Middle son comes screaming to (the worst ever) Mom to get the giant sliver pulled from his hand.

Mom sends the kids across the street to work out some energy picking apples.

This was all in about an hour. I am hiding in my room finding quotes that seem to fit my day and make me feel just a tiny bit better. Hope they made you feel better about your Monday.