Leaving the country?

So as my better half gears up to make tunnel magic he has been working with the company who manufactures his machine. The rep and Hubby have been working to repair some pretty costly issues that honestly could have resulted in the job going the way of me burying a rock. Lucky my guy cares enough to thoroughly inspect his machine eh? Anyway this guy has known JW for a few years and asked today if he would ever be willing to work out of the US. He had an offer for Iceland and one for Iraq on the table before but we said heck no to those but he honestly feels more open to it now. If it were a country safe for us I think he would be willing. He is so sick of things here right now and of how he is treated that getting an opportunity like this might be a boon to his career. Who knows though right?

Taking in the Mossberg.

So we decided to put a different stock on the 12 gauge. We went with the pistol grip in the hopes that, for now, that would help with my shock absorption as well as adding a better butt pad. (It does btw) Well when we took of the original stock a little piece of plastic fell out. My brother-in-law was pretty sure of what it was and recommended a test fire for confirmation. He is darn good with the internals of a gun. Sure enough our safety was broken. Darn thing fires even when on safe. Luckily I got it at my favorite place, the mecca of stores, and am taking it in to them who will then ship it off to be fixed for me. Hubby was not pleased at all. We did the test fire during the day we took my Mama shooting and he was ticked as hell. He let her fire it and I used the new stock to get a feel but he was of course extra careful of the safety rules. Brother-in-law thinks it is because of the switch to plastic parts that the internals are just easier to break and shift. I am sure he would know. He spent over an hour on one .22 yesterday breaking it down completely to put in a buffer pin, lol.

Saw the Vampire!!

Had a visit with the Hematologist today. I have mentioned before that I was sent to him because I abnormally bruise and bleed and my bruising lasts for a long time. He ran the gamut of tests in the beginning and ruled out everything he could think of by blood work. We didn't go more in depth because my blood really didn't indicate a need. Anyway he has been monitoring me for over 2 years now. Once again my white blood count today was in the red. He isn't worried because while I go into the red every so often I bounce back up to normal between those low counts. As usual my lymphocytes were elevated. The lymphocytosis is why he has continued to monitor me. He was going to cut me loose from the monitoring and just see me if my PCP had a concern with blood work until I said she never does blood work. He was a bit annoyed at that. In his mind the fact that I have a chronic and as of now incurable illness that is being managed to him means that I should be having regular blood draws. So I will do a lab for him in 6 months and another visit in 12. Honestly the monitoring is a bit of a comfort. If I do ever get cancer we will catch it pretty quick. Plus his level of care and interest in me is a lot better than my PCP. I wish he could treat the fibro but it is not his field. Uggg... If only I could find a good rheumatologist here. I need to find one. I am going to call the one my doc tried to send me to again. According to our insurance she does work with us so maybe if I talk to them I will get in, lol.

All in all a normal day in the life of a chronic junky illness. Stupid fibro.

What's in a name?

This is mine. It's heavy as hell and dead accurate. I want to name it. I am thinking something along the lines of Brutus. I want something manly and strong. Most men name their guns and trucks after women. So I think it is only fair that I name my gun after a man. What do you think?

Maybe we need to really examine these Occupy people.

So while my Mom was here I made a comment that the Occupy people were driving me nuts. Being my Mom she proceeded to do some educating. One of the many amazing things about my Mom is that we can discuss differing views without contention or strife. She raised a very valid point. A lot of the big stories we were hearing about this movement was on media owned by the same mega rich who are still profiting so well by Wall Street and their lovely closed mouth use of bail out money. I give that point to her wholeheartedly. My Mom and I have pretty different politics. She tends to be pretty firm Democrat with some conservative tendencies, lol. I am just anti-big government. One thing we talked about was that while there are plenty in this protest for the wrong reasons and expecting things they need to grow up and provide for themselves there is a good large percentage there for a just reason. They bought their houses smart and as an investment, they worked hard to build their 401K, they lived their lives following the American Dream. Then everything came crashing down. Suddenly their investments were gone and their property values were nill. Then they got laid off. No one wanted to hire them because there was younger and cheaper labor to fill the void and work just as hard. Those people are the people we need to think about supporting. I know if it were my Mom or someone I love hurting because of how roughshod banking and Wall Street runs their ships I would be pretty pissed. If it were us. As "preppers" we take preparation to a whole new level. We work to make sure we can survive calamity, no matter the cause. A lot of us got in to this BECAUSE of the Wall Street fiasco and the housing drop. They crippled our economy and continue to do so and we see the potential for total collapse written on the wall. The difference between us and the majority of protesters is that rather than protest we have decided to not expect them to learn a thing and have decided to take our futures and our safety into our own hands. My Mom sent me this video this morning. The message in it is sound.




To the percentage of protesters who are there who refuse to even try to work or think and just expect someone to take care of them- SHAME ON YOU!!! You are lazy and crude and vile and you are giving the hard working men and women who really have something to say and truth on their side a bad name. They and their message deserve better. My Mom brought up thoughts of the revolution as an example of when the working majority once again got tired of being treated like dirt and their blood profited on. We speak of how we wish more would share our outrage. I think that we have our wish. They are just purposely being overshadowed by the stupid in an effort to keep more from joining the rage that is building to a boiling point. Maybe just maybe if we truly examined the true thoughts behind this rage we would see that they are not on opposite sides of this fence we seem to have built. Our country is changing. We had already accepted it and planned our course. Looks like others have begun to see that same writing on the wall and are choosing, in some ways, a braver course.

Dogs I have known

Brigid's post about her dog Barkley got me thinking about some of the dogs I have known over the years. I volunteer with a local rescue organization and that has allowed me to interact with some really amazing animals.

There was Balto, the 192 lb malamute,

Lancelot, the stray that started it all,

Gator, the mentally retarded puppy who you couldn't help but love,

Skye, who thought she was a supermodel,

Twix, the dog I trained as a diabetic alert dog,

And many many more. Each has their unique story and personality and I have been lucky enough to share the lives of each and every one even if it was only for a short time. Most have found their forever homes, some have passed on and some are still with us waiting for their family to find them and give them the home they deserve. This is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done with my life and it gives me such a sense of accomplishment to know I have saved the lives of so many.

That's a lot of bees!

Truck hauling 25 million bees overturns in Utah yesterday. Later reports say that 2/3 of the haul was recovered and the bees are being kept at local beekeepers houses. How's that for houseguests!? I am really glad I was not that truck driver!

I hope I get to go hunting.

The deer season started on Friday. Hubby has to work until next Friday. I have to be home to drive kids to birthday parties and throw a party for our youngest. That leaves me three days to get my deer. I sure hope I find a stupid one who is willing to walk out and say "Hi" during the few hours I can actually be out of the house. Hubby can hunt pretty much the whole week he is off, so at least if I don't get one, he has a better chance. He also drew out for a cow elk this year. I am hoping we get something, because once you draw out, you lose all of your points and we had to wait four years to draw THIS year. Here's hoping for stupid deer (and/or elk) and a full freezer! I will let you all know if we get anything.

Monday.

I have watched CSI, NCIS, Law and Order, Criminal Minds and Unusual Suspects. I can kill you 18 ways and make it look like Alvin and the Chipmunks did it.

I lost my mind... I think my kids took it

WARNING: Due to the recent conditions in behavior in this home, this mom could self-destruct at any moment! Children and husbands approach with caution!

Apparently I have just won the "Meanest Mom Ever" category. Congrats to me.

I am no longer afraid of natural disasters, wild animals, or terrorist attacks...I have sons!

And my personal favorite: Hey, you , yeah , the kid with the smart mouth. Did you know...that the tooth fairy don't leave money for the teeth your mama knocks out?

Today my accomplished the following:

Oldest son nearly broke the middle sons arm.

Middle son throws a tantrum and kicked my trashcan across the room.

Mom got fed up enough to throw the object of the fight across the room and broke it.

Middle son screams that he hates me and that I am the worst mother ever.

Oldest and youngest sons go outside to play with the neighbor kid.

Neighbor kids mom calls to tell me all five boys are on the roof.

Before I can round up all five kids, two have gone home and the other three have scattered.

Middle son comes screaming to (the worst ever) Mom to get the giant sliver pulled from his hand.

Mom sends the kids across the street to work out some energy picking apples.

This was all in about an hour. I am hiding in my room finding quotes that seem to fit my day and make me feel just a tiny bit better. Hope they made you feel better about your Monday.

Invited the crazies!

Uggg..... I really think God figured I needed testing or reminding or something. Pffttt....

To explain my upcoming stupidity I will begin by saying that the kids set the house alarm off not even a week ago. Niece set the house on lock down yet did not inform her brother who decided to walk out the back door. Thus waking us to wailing sirens. Hubby of course leaves the room first armed with me behind him. Scared my nephew half to death to hear that slide rack.

Add the dumb visitor and I should have not been stupid. I know better.

Last night at 12:35 the home alarm siren goes off again. I wake hubby up. Due to taking my Mom shooting (more on that later) the .45 was not loaded with the right rounds so hubby needed to load it. I figured it was the kids and was walking out when hubby got ticked. I was reminded that our rule is when the alarm goes off one of us is armed when we leave that bedroom. End of story.  Bad Lila. Once he has armed he proceeded me down the stairs and through the house. Our front door was opened. Only maybe 3-4 inches. Not enough to be the result of wind. Lock was not fudged. Kids were all in bed.


We let the teens lock the house down and the front door wasn't checked so the security bolt wasn't put on. Our fault. More mine really. The men work really early. Brother-in-law is up by 2:30 and Hubby by 4. I get to sleep until at least 6 so realistically I need to be the one to lock the house down and make sure security is sound. Sucks when on my painful days I want to go to bed early.

Pretty sure the theory that yard sales bring in the trash is now proven sound. Great fun eh? I so can't wait until we move away from here!

Lovely visitor.

Today I got to realize the risk that a garage sale can bring. When you think garage sale you think little old lady or a stay at home mom looking for a deal or even a couple out to find a good bargain. You think friendly people and cheap prices. At least I do. Today my neighbor across the street was holding one from 7-11. Makes sense as we are still pretty hot and our sunshine is wicked. Anyway about 1:45 I am chilling in my loft area will Monkey, music on the comp and just hanging out with her. My office/loft area windows are over the driveway. Suddenly I hear some major yelling. This guy is screaming every name in the book. Talking about how he isn't a dirtbag and how little rich women need to be nicer and all sorts of pretty billigerant things. Going on about how he used to have millions but gave it away and the least she can do is help other people out. Of course by this time her garage is closed up and such. She has little ones and is home alone like me during the day.

I have learned to put people on a scale when they are jerks.
You have the drive/walk away from types. They are jerks but just getting away solves the issue.
You have the call the cops types. Yeah you have to deal with them for however long it takes to have police get there but it can be done.
Then you have the " I am probably going to need to get my gun to be protected if I even am in this guys vicinity and quite possibly use it to A- defend or B- scare the dude off."

Dude is hitting the walls of her house as she remains behind her door. He then takes off screaming for his car with very purposeful steps and I am thinking he is going from a contact the cops to a get armed kind of situation. Luckily her husband came home and screamer stops mid trunk pop and instead starts to scream some more. He manhandles his woman and gets into the car and rolls away. I had to leave the house to pick up Bug. Luckily I park in my garage. I make sure my gun is in the car and we are loaded in before I even open the door to be safe. As my door goes up I see my neighbor's husband standing against their SUV. The Jerk is still on our block. His car is not running and he is now down the road. Luckily she had called the police and as I left I saw an officer arrive. Apparently this guy was pissed she was no longer selling anything and would not give him anything. I warned the husband that men of that type very likely could return, especially since his car is still here, and might try to break in. We are making sure the security is armed and the gun is close by. Hubby feels that because this guy maybe needed more a scare and show that we could defend ourselves that having some bean bag rounds might be smart. I think I agree. It is also making me realize that when the neighbors closest to us are doing these sales we need to remain on high alert because they give jerks a great way to case us for theft.

Over reaction of a paranoid woman or spot on? Thoughts?

absentee blogger

Yes, that is me. I am sorry. I have been crazy busy the last few...umm...months...? My boys started school and I stupidly thought this would give me soooo much free time. Yeah, that didn't happen. I am up by 6 to get my middle schooler (gasp) off to school. As soon as he walks out the door, I have to wake the younger two and listen to them fight as they get ready. I really hate mornings. By the time they are out the door I am exhausted.

I have also been canning. and canning and canning. We had an early freeze this year so I spent an hour and a half outside in a snowstorm picking tomatoes and the rest of the garden produce. Luckily a friend came to help or it would have taken me all day. We picked 16 pumpkins, four watermelons, two cantaloupes and 430 tomatoes. Yes, you read that right. I have 430 tomatoes in various stages of ripeness on my kitchen table. Salsa anyone? I have already done two batches of salsa but neither of them really came out. One was too sweet (it also called for several of my cucumbers), the second called for over a cup of vinegar and that is all you can taste. Sooooo.......this next batch will use the second recipe but cut the vinegar wayyyyyy down.

I canned my peas and carrots together because I didn't have enough of either to bother canning. I got a batch of green beans done and two quarts of tomatoes.

I did end up being a judge for the fair and there was a judges category (whoot) so I entered. I won three blue ribbons! We were up all night judging the hundreds of jars and had to come early the next day to award the ribbons.

The chickens are all molting and the yard looks like a fowl massacre with feathers EVERYWHERE. I wish they didn't do that right before the weather turns freezing cold. Mr Chicken and my chicks are completely clueless as to how to use the cat door we installed on the coop. My older hens are used to it and go in and out several times a day. It is too cold to leave the big door open and it is driving me crazy to have to let them out every morning and catch them every night to put them back in the coop. I hope they figure this out sooner rather than later.

I already gave you the update on the bees. Kind of. I have just gotten scared enough of them that I don't really go out there unless the smoker is fired up and I am in full beekeeper gear. That is just such a pain in the butt that I usually don't get around to it. Plus, my little photographers are not willing to get that close either. It doesn't help that my oldest son is allergic to bee stings.

So there are all of my excuses. I am going to try harder to keep up with this but if I disappear for a while again, I am sorry.

Feeling out the family....

Made a casual remark at a family gathering this weekend to feel out some more family as to retreat preps. Her comment was "I'm not worried." On one hand I can get that because this particular bunch has acreage they tend, a large garden, a bunch of chickens, horses, and are decently situated with in the community so as to not really be bothered by locals. In fact before our retreat thoughts became less about just our 4 and more about long term and wider family they were where I considered going for those reasons. So if those are the reasoning then I will take a sigh of relief and leave them to plan their own way I guess. If however it is more of a not really seeing these signs the way we do then I am unsure what to do. Do I let it go? Do I try to open their eyes? Do I risk freaking her out? I honestly think a lot of why her husband does what he does is because he sees the signs more and is more attuned but this makes talking to her about this plan concerning.

How do you handle this issue? I know we all have people we love and wish to protect. People we want to see safe and healthy with us. How do you try to get them to see your worries are valid and at least raise the thought of preparing?

The death of the drones.

It has been getting very cold lately and the workers threw all of the drones out to die. It's kind of sad seeing them all over the ground outside the hive. I haven't seen drones in a long time so I thought maybe they were all gone. I have also had a lot of problems with yellow jackets and have no idea how to solve that one. I could spray them, but then I run the risk of killing the bees. The yellow jackets are EATING my bees. So, it is kind of a lose/lose situation. Here's hoping I can get it all figured out. I have started feeding the bees again as the snow killed off pretty much everything that was blooming.

The Occupying pish-posh.

Those people drive me batty. I honestly haven't paid a tone of attention to them because their basic message is annoying. It is this whole "I am in a bad place because you made me that way" idea that has our country so screwed up. Do I think that Wall Street and other major entities suck? Sure do. Honestly I think they knew collapse was coming and padded their wallets and did nothing for the little people. I also think that if you refuse to take responsibility for your own mess you are stupid. We have 1 credit card. I pay 2 bills with it and then pay it off 2 weeks later. We have some debt. My car. The house. We actually did something we have never done and bought "toys". We got a loan for that as well. We pay above on all of them. Honestly except for the house (investment we hope, though Nevada sucks) we see them as credit builders so while we pay above the payment we don't rush to pay them off either. We chose our debt. My weekly budget is tight with the extra family in the house right now. We haven't put as much away as we wanted because feeding 7 is very different than 4. However we do not lack, we do not go without. We made choices that have us in the position we are in and we are content with that position. Hubby has been through layoffs. We find a way. We don't blame the man. He worked 2 jobs and I worked another and we rotated child care duties between us. We buckle down and we cut back and we improvise when we have to. We plan for leaner times. We don't expect someone to rescue us. We don't blame other's for our hard times. Yes layoffs happen at horrible times and put people in cruddy situations. Finding another job can be difficult. BUT that mound of credit card debt was a choice. The giant house you should never have bought was a choice. Figure out a new life solution. Get creative. Stop whining and start winning.

So dumbnuts....... SHUT UP. Put all that energy into something useful. Seriously.

One Second After.

So I finished reading "One Second After" by William R. Forstchen today. Hit on quite a few levels. The researcher loved the detail and afterward included to help with my own world building. I loved the concept and that he kept reactions pretty human. Small towns do very much tend to band together in difficulty. I liked that he included the refrence to film and literature even if that got old in some moments because we do tend to compare events around us to what we know, often that is what we have read and watched fictionally in extreme times.

The writer in my loved the depth of charecter. I could see the fear, the violence, the hope, the impact of hard choices. I could smell the unwashed bodies.

The Aunt with the Type 1 diabetic nephew found much to fear. When I first saw that John's daughter was diabetic and the same age about as Nephew I was a little excited. Many said this book was a great research addition so I thought this thread would turn out to be personally helpful. It was not. It was very bleak and very dim. Honestly the devoted Aunt in me instantly wanted to begin hoarding insulin.

This book also made me think. Not just about the world I am building for my own series but about the world as we have it. Yes we are preparing as best we can. Hopefully we can prepare more in the coming while before we really need it so we are much better situated. I plan for that and hope for that daily. My greatest fear is that an EMP situation and other situations like it are ones that really are pretty dang hard to be fully prepared for. The preps are good as is the awareness but honestly how do you totally prepare for any situation?

Really has me thinking on so many levels.

When a fallen hero needs our help....

we stand up and give it. Months ago I shared a blog with you all that a beautiful wife was writing through her grief about her Marine husband being killed in action. She was very raw, very personal, and so very strong. Her story was heartbreaking. It was moving and it really brought home how deeply this war hurts those left behind.

Now she is trying to make sure her husband's greatest wish is still made possible. He was in the process of adopting their eldest daughter when he was killed. He had done all the paper work, had completed the home studies, had submitted the forms but as forms do they were lost. He was going to re-submitt those forms when he got home but failed to return alive. His daughter deserves to know that she is HIS always and forever. She deserves his name and his legacy.

Tj's wife once again posted a beautiful blog on the subject here. To sign the petition she is filling with signatures that are going to her governor please follow the link on her blog or click here. Help Tj and Taylor be father and daughter in every way and help Mary get more peace. She deserves that from all of us.

Research books?

So as I work on my youth series I am also reading some books for research ideas. I have "One Second After" and "Patriots" on the list but figured you guys would have some great ideas. As you guys know my series is going to take place about a generation after the apocalypse. Man made EMP which makes our response to a natural event impossible so we get hit twice. A side effect is going to be that the once hidden paranormal world gets a huge magical boost. My heroine is a cop trying to solve major issues. I may make her more an investigator or private eye. Not sure yet. So I plan to incorporate some survival stuff, paranormal stuff, crime stuff. I am totally looking for good book recommendations to read to get ideas and for research. Let me know your thoughts!!

The OTHER reason October is important to me.

October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Many who read the blog know my story. If you are new though I will share my thoughts again.

I have been blessed with 4 babies! They light my life. They are my world. 2 of them I lost during pregnancy. As my health journey has progressed I have learned that often FMS women have difficulty in pregnancy and that my lack of progesterone is not to surprising once you know I have FMS. Yay! I look around me and know so many women who have lost babies. I know their heart break, their fear as they try again. I know the anguish. Last year Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope started the I Am The Face campaign to help raise awareness and remove the silence surrounding pregnancy and infant loss. I eagerly joined that movement. I love Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. They provide support online and locally to so many who are now facing loss. I also very much want the world to talk to those of us who deal with this. We want to remember our babies. We want to smile about them and cry about them and be free to talk about them and the pregnancy. There were good moments for all of us. So please spread the hope and the word. 1 out of 4 women will face this huge loss. They need our love and our kindness. They need our hugs. They need to be able to talk about it without being hidden away.

Bad sick blogger !

Well went into the week stressed out with family stuff that took us all to Utah. So we all had little sleep. We got through the day. Came home and of course I flared. Stress and I are not friends. Flare means no immune system. So by Wednesday I had the flu. Yay! Party for Lila! My feed is hugely backed up but I am going to read some today. Also going to try to get back to blogging ! Happy Saturday y'all!