Monday, May 11, 2009

3 Generation Households.

So TOR at our brother blog wrote a great blog on this subject. We are a 3gen household. My MIL has fibromyalgia and has had a rough time working. When her room mates moved away and her job was due to end we invited her to live with us. We do have many of the benefits TOR mentioned like another adult to help around the house, someone to enrich our lives and the girls lives with her experiences and knowledge. Both our girls adore my MIL and she and I get along very well. We have some bumps sometimes because my MIL is a very emotional woman (recently diagnosed PTSD after a very bad marriage and even worse divorce) and so am I (bi-polar, lol) so we can have our moods clash.

One thing that I recommend is that the boundaries as to reprimanding the kids be set right away. Hubs and I are very hands on parents and we have a hard time with others doing our job and we had to make that very clear. Also we had to enter this expecting to be the caretaker to someone else. If you start this journey relying on the elder generation to perform certain taskes it can often cause tention if those tasks aren't done. We knew going in that Mom was very limited in what she could physically do and emotionally handle so it made the transition easier because we did not have unrealistic ideas of how she would contribute to the house. It has been a wonderful blessing to have someone to safely leave the baby with so I can take a bath or go pick up Bug from school. I also know that if I am ill she will help with cooking.

We also have my BIL, nephew, and my brother living in the same complex and I regularly cook to feed everyone. It saves them money and time and ensures they are eating real meals which makes Hubs and I feel better. This move will actually be seperating us from all of them and in some ways I am excited for the return of privacy in others I am heart broken. I have become used to this whole big family thing. Mom follows us down in a little while and a huge part of why we bought the house we did is that it will be a very good living arraingment for us as a 3gen house. We also hope to have my BIL and nephew with us as soon as they are able.

I recommend this to anyone with the patience for it. My girls have so many added blessing as they are surrounded by so many who love them. Plus if SHTF we have the capabilities to take care of our safety with so many adults and that is a huge comfort.


  1. Be sure your girls, and yourselves, are prepared for losing people from the home, even temporarily. All kinds of issues may come up with the girls, like whether you still love MIL - or might stop loving the girls.

    Children adapt to changes in the home fairly easily - and often grieve quite readily at losses. Almost like adults .. ;-)

    Blessed be.

  2. Mom should be with us by August again and my BIL and nephew will be there as soon as he has work lined up.


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